this is a blessing in disguise

everything is fine
things aren't perfect
but what is perfect

i have held onto things i could live without
and let go of what i need the most
trying to live without doubts
but the doubts are there the most

i am not an angel, and you aren't one either
you may be better than me, but i could be worse
i'm not going to change for you, and you neither
because things may be bad, but it could be worse

we have persevered and learned to live like this
so i promise that everything is fine
keep a smile on and let me know you still exist
we will turn out quite alright, everything is fine
not divine, but fine

i am blind

you're not my jesus christ
you won't drive my demons away
my odds are but a roll of the dice
and my demons have come to play

it smells like aging spirits here
too many chances have come and gone
so hold your ground but don't stay clear
i'm down to hold my breath
and let this drag on

i have promised to defeat myself
but it keeps slipping my mind
you say it better than i do, i need help
i am losing my mind
and i am blind

stars in your room

where could you possibly be on this calm and pleasant night?
the moon is at the perfect height and the temperature is right
my eyes are illuminated by the many stars scattered everywhere
exhale and your breath would slowly linger in the frozen air

what could you possibly be doing that is so fucking important?
the few clouds in the sky stretch vastly to the greatest extent
my head is shaded by this tree but you are nowhere to be seen
you need to be here so we can share this magnificent scene

if you're stuck at home, just sit still and i will bring the stars to you
let it hover over your closed eyes as you lay in your bed, sound asleep
you can wake up late in the morning and not have a single clue
that i was with you the whole time as you lay in your sleep

your light

they left you for the dead
but you know the road ahead

you shine just like a star
clearly standing out from afar

make your own path and stray
from here and go far away

i will find you someday
your light will show me the way

"if we admit that human life can be ruled by reason, then all possibility of life is destroyed"

the headlights become a blur as we sit waiting for the colors to change
overcast clouds and the night sky mix together after a bitter exchange
fortunate outcomes of vast possibilities have created this moment for us
red turns to green but we do not budge, our heads are filled with unjust lust

we are the pilots tonight and we will guide ourselves through this heavy matter
enjoying our precious time as our plane continues in righteous manner
relax and let the cruise control alleviate your mingled train of thought
fall back and let this feeling catch your fall, you will not be distraught

our plane will crash into the aesthetic sea and create a marvelous splash
let us float with the waves as the plane splits into two and sinks from the crash
allow sleep to settle into your skin and your bloodshot eyes will slowly close
i promise you will arise at the next hint of sunlight with a heart lacking repose
and this ambivalent world will be alright

what you really need is closer than you realize

i had decided that we needed a perfect situation
but the presence of you gave me complete elation
so i took you down with me as i fell from grace
there was no perfect situation this one could replace

the greatest plea this old hermit could ever make

i laid in bed that day, tossing and turning like there was no tomorrow
time will pass and i will lay there listening to the kids playing outside
i will wear this shirt until it disintegrates and i will let my hair grow
there will be dry tears fading away from that night i lay here and cried
it wasn't a forced action but straight from my own beating heart
when i realized that it was over before my adventure had yet to start
the old creaky floorboards will slowly give up and give in to the weight
it will send me sprawling and falling so fast, but this is not my fate
i should not have left the safety of my room to the bright lights outside
where your sense of privacy is narrow and the pointing fingers spread out so wide
my skin will lose its brilliant pale hue and scissors will cut my flowing hair
i will smell the air but shout out in despair with so much emotion people will stare
they can put me in the most popular clothes and shove academics into my head
try and throw me into the crowd but i will stand out even more instead
so please let me walk away and i swear that i will leave you alone
too much pressure and i am not strong; it will eat away right to the last bone
you would think that i'd be used to this kind of treatment years ago
but give me another chance so i can stop myself from falling below
i can fake the greatest smile in the world to pass this lone obstacle
watch as i show you how concerned i can be by pacing a giant circle
wait and my hair will grow long again and this clean shirt will lose its vibrancy
leave me be and you will never hear from me again, this i can guarantee

your new pea coat

you're gonna wear your new pea coat on your long trip to new york city
have it buttoned up all nice and neat so you can look real pretty
you're gonna have a wonderful time while i sit alone 2782 miles away
struggling to keep my eyes open and letting my mind wonder astray
and when you decide to return home, i will not be waiting for you here
i seem to always find the wrong times to wander off and disappear

L.A.F.T.S.W.C.D.T

ever wonderful are are the clouds that shield themselves over the sky
excellent shades of gray over splotches of blue reflecting off my eye

everyone has their windows closed and the heater set at eighty degrees
but i am not one to avoid, i stand on the edge of the curb enjoying the breeze

the quiet and easy breeze that gently flows through the tips of my hair
it tells me that this weather has me calm and content, nothing can compare

ever wonderful are the droplets of rain that create this beautiful sound
this is exactly what i need, this is exactly what is profound

so stay in the safety of your homes with the heater working and fire blazing
and i will freeze to death outside, because the feeling i get is fucking amazing

solyluna

we made many promises that day, when i swear i was the happiest
back when i didn't care how my hair looked or the way i was dressed
before the many cigarettes and pills that gave me false happiness
you wouldn't know now, but believe me when i tell you i'm a terrible mess
i am recovering ever so slowly as i mature with every passing day
hiding behind close friends who point me in the right direction, the right way
maybe someday our paths will cross and you will acknowledge my existence
but for now i will live life for the restless sun and lazy moon, keeping my distance

my eyes would beat yours in a race

i can not stare you in the eyes, my eyes will slowly wander away
your eyes are beautiful, but they will not stray
my eyes would rather be climbing towards the sky, awaiting blindness
if only you would let your eyes digress
we would be in the safe

please don't be so firm, you make me uneasy and weak
my mind races to find the right words and stutter when i speak
i am so used to floating off alone, not having any plans
but you have pulled me ashore and i am awaiting what's in your head
your eyes are as pure as your heart and clean as your hands
and they do what i can never do, they constantly look ahead

i wish you could look up towards the sun so i can look down
close your eyes so i can slowly take a look around
maybe then i can grow the courage to stare you straight in the eyes
before my eyes reach their destination at the angel in disguise

violet

reach into this old and nasty basket
pick out what delights your hands the most
come into the chapel and pick out a casket
may it delight your inner ghost

you cautiously pick out a crumpled twenty
it will get you through for the day
cigarettes are many and liquor is plenty
may your lonesome soul decay

your hair is getting a tad bit too long
stains on your hand will no longer wash away
sit back and wonder when it all went wrong
the usual thoughts of disarray

the leaves turn red and they are falling
the time slips away and it is coming
for the final time, leave your belongings behind
break from the world that has you confined
get acquainted with your inner ghost

red

the setting sun shoots its rays straight into my eyes
my eyes shut and all i see is the color red
red just like the vast sky, and the baby behind me cries
his mother quickly gives him his bottle and the baby bobs his head

the ride is smooth and the time to destination slowly gets smaller
next to me is a silent man reading his newspaper and sipping coffee
i try to make conversation but he is as silent as a tree
i'm talking to myself and my voice just slurs

i can not sit still, my seat is extremely uncomfortable
shifting positions every five minutes and clenching my fists
i have come to realize that my somewhat disturbed mind is far from stable
so i start to think of you waiting for me like i always do
because the terrible feeling never persists

now the sun is down now and the moon is high, the man next to me is asleep
the baby is still, staring at the ceiling, and the mother sighs in relief
i can feel the train slowing down, finally at our final destination
and you were waiting at the gate, my final alleviation

turquoise

i hope you succeed and live a long and happy life
because i think you're special
i think you're special. i think you're special
there are no poetic ways to clearly express this
you know i mean it loud and clear
and i hope you feel the same way

almost home

i can feel it inch closer and i know i'm almost home
i slowly pass by the once green fields where we always used to roam
the setting sun gives off a glowing, red hue that silently sets over us all
and the crisp and orange leaves on the ground indicate that the season is fall

the times will always change but some things will forever stay the same
so here i stand at the exact place where we grew up and forever became
every single beautiful entity our old midnight dreams had once predicted

and though the passing years say we can no longer step together in steady unison
i will never stop achieving what we set our sights on, i will continue to look ahead
and with that in my mind, my heart, my soul, it feels like you've never left at all
i finally see home, it is so simple and beautiful, i run

sleep

i want to drop everything and go to sleep
never mind the hour, i want to go to sleep
lock the doors and close every window
and close the curtains so the sun won't show

i want to stop everything and go to sleep
never mind your best intentions
and i don't need any interventions
lock the doors and close every window
when the lights go off, you will know
that i'll be dead until my eyes open again

miti sfey atima

my dreams are instilled into my head and i walk on rainbows
it moves along to the riverbank and i will go where the river flows
the time can stop, the people can stop, so i can rest in peace
i will close my eyes in winter weather before temperatures increase

so please fly away to your happiest place, and i will be at ease
fly to the restless clouds, under the sea, or high up in the trees
even though i may die alone tomorrow, you will never know
you won't even have to worry, i'll be ten feet beneath the snow

and happy, so happy, to be finally at ease
the snow will not tear into my flesh, it will not squeeze life away
it will stay with me forever and it will never go away
my soul will seep through the cracks and float off in the sky
and it will keep on floating until the day it catches your eye

defy your demons!

defy your demons who sleep on the highest mountaintops
let them scowl as you dance on the dirt as the rain drops
from the sky that gives you light, that gives you strength
the thunder will bolt down and shock you in great lengths
but do not let them tear your spirits down, you are strong
let them see how mighty you can be, prove them wrong

lions inhale

..and when the lion came out to gaze afar
the great lands were barren to the highest star
so the lion proceeded to make everything his own
all from the richest jewel to the coldest stone

the most destructive things have an attractive look to them

chase me down and crush my bones as you pick me up with your fingertips
lift me miles over the clouds, in line with the sun, and proceed to let me go
awaiting the waiting waters below, i will draw last breaths from my lips
i will stare at the surface as it fades away, and with the current i shall flow
you can not find me here and i will be a mystery to anyone who ever cared
it is cold but the weightlessness has me at ease and i am calm, so calm
you would not believe the wondrous sights that amazed me and left me scared
and i think that my breath is running out, but i will stay still like a bomb
leave me be and i will go off when the time is right
it will leave you in awe, it will be quite a sight

i am the snow and you are just fire

the winter breeze leaves your lips chapped
your hands constantly rubbing for warmth
with a fire raging inside your home, trapped
your hands eased over the fire for warmth

i am walking my own trail
leaving everlasting footprints in the snow
i noticed everything around me in complete detail
as i make my way slowly, through the snow

tomorrow the weather will be colder
the downfall of snow will be thicker
you will be clumped up in your room
shivering over a nasty bit of fire
and i will be freezing myself in peace
surrounded by the beautiful snow

alone

you might be at my side, but i am still alone
alone with my thoughts, alone without a cause
by myself on a mighty throne made of stone
away from the ground, from where i have flown
minding my own business, letting myself go
throwing everything away and hoping it will show
the many simple mistakes i have yet to atone for
alone and in complete peace, to where i have soared

float off

you think you're holding my life together
but i can easily stand on my own
let me go and i'll float off like a feather
i really need to do this alone

avoid your catastrophic catastrophe

the heavy glare the moon gives off has me down on my knees
gets my chin up in the air and my eyes slightly gray with surprising ease
i am so tired but i can't give up yet, it doesn't let me give in just yet
as it whispers in my ear that holding on would be my greatest bet
keeping myself together in one piece is harder than it may seem
wanting to break into tiny little pieces but i have too much esteem
so i can tighten my grip on whatever i happen to get my hands on
then maybe i'll make it another day, maybe i'll make it another dawn
i can defeat the night, swallow my greatest fears and shut my eyes
and when i decide to open them, hopefully i'll be staring at spacious skies

backwardssdrawkcab

i'm up but my mind is still in bed
i call for it but it dozes off instead

deb ni llits si dnim ym tub pu m'i!
daetsni ffo sezod ti tub ti rof llac i!?

without my mind, it isn't forward, forward
it's backwards, backwards, backwards

out of my mind, cutting off every one of my two senses
too much alcohol in your system and too many unwanted expenses

backwards, i'm thinking backwards, backwards

and i wrote this with my mind still in bed
so shut the fuck up, i'm sorry for these shitty words
but i'm so backwards, i'm thinking backwards

speaking with good intentions

please understand that living is enough motivation
the path you're currently on has no destination
there's always a tomorrow, there's more to pursue
and the sun will come up with or without you

commotion, commotion

it messes me up when i try to focus most
eating at my patience with an unmeasured dose
tipping my hourglass with swift motion
creating problems, commotion, commotion

it messes me up with an unmeasured dose
eating at my patience when i focus most
creating problems with swift motion
tipping my hourglass, commotion, commotion

watch it lunge at me with speeds i can't calculate
cut your head off and serve it on an expensive plate
creating problems, commotion, commotion
tipping my hourglass, commotion, commotion

i can't focus, it's always at the back of my head
like a fatal disease, and it's only begun to spread
it messes me up with swift and unmeasured motion
eating at my patience, creating commotion, commotion

lazy eye

darling i'm so calm; i'm so serene
i could care less what you think right now
you in my sights, nothing in between
reaching for you as far as my mind would allow

in complete nirvana, floating in the stream
lazy eye, eye; i'm sneaking into your dream
this slight breeze has me yearning for a bed
to stop all bodily functions and rest my head

i need to rest my head
just for a minute or two
or maybe a couple days instead
you can join too
we can enjoy the world as it walks by
enjoy ourselves as we let the world pass
view the sky in my bed with my lazy eye
as the clouds float on with sympathy in masses
i'll see it all, with my lazy eye

fine, fine, fine

your path cracks from underneath and you must survive
hold back your breath and last through the night
you've arrived alive and you strive to thrive
your path is so dark but the end of the road is bright
so bright

and you might find yourself in unimaginable situations
brought down by unrealistic forces you've created on your own
please fix these complications and mend broken relations
chill them to the bones and show them what you've never shown

the end of your path will be so bright
and i hope that will ignite
your will to fight
heights so great
the storm will be abated
avoided, abated
abated, avoided

inhale

too much time on my hands and nothing to do
staring right across the river directly at you
the water is crisp and clean as it calls my name
the closer i got, the more flooded my head became
you calmly sat on the bank on the other side
staring with your mouth gaping and eyes open wide
i slowly entered the water and it swallowed me whole
the night sky melted and the silence engulfed my soul
hypnotized and stunned, i floated in total darkness
enticed by indescribable feeling, i let my mind digress

the little line

the little line began as a dot on the vast and empty canvas
it made its thoughts known with simple designs clearly expressed

the little line lived in a seven story house next to the pacific ocean
extracting every little detail with a swift and sharp motion

the little line created and made every possible thought visible reality
expanding beyond your imagination as an abnormality became a normality

the little line was a small speck on a white and plain canvas
became a long and unpredictable line as it made tremendous progress
your hand has fifteen fingers and the universe is a germ on a tiny stone
picked up by the little hand of the little line and thrown into a cyclone

the little line defined what you would've never imagined or predicted or inferred
jumbling up all the little things laying all around and simultaneously concurred

it's the night

it's the night
i'm standing in the night

nothing within my eyesight
but i can see you tonight
wearing white, wearing white
you make the night quite alright
everything is dark but you're so bright

i swear you might just ignite
everything that could make this right

and even though you incite this feeling of contrite
i can see you, i can see you tonight
there is this slight breeze tonight

it's the night

she is everything for nothing

shield your eyes as the sun overhead conquers the ever spacious sky
squint your eyes and watch closely as the clouds dance and she flies by

tremors underground shake the earth and it slowly opens as you panic
tremble as you slowly lose balance, the foreverness of it all makes you sick

hurled through dimensions of nowhere in the universe of nowhere
half sane, two hundred percent insane, it's all so unfair

entire world is calling your name and all you can do is reach your hands
empty your empty pockets as you attempt to fulfill their impossible demands

but she doesn't ask for anything as she rest her head on the beautiful sun
beaten and weary, too late to turn back, what's done can not be undone

electric

you were like electric,
electrically charged, hidden in the shade
but i knew where you were, you sent jolts of outspoken thoughts down my spine

you were like electric,
jumping with sudden movements, you are my cascade
keep continuing to redefine definition, because you are so mother fucking divine

you had me spinning upside down murmuring complete gibberish
whisper nonsense to yourself and it won't be nonsense anymore
you were like electric, your static clung onto me and never let go
we take it easy, take it slow, and they won't know, they won't know

feeling great

i don't know what's wrong with me, but i'm feeling great today
it's not what others find pleasure in that makes me feel this way
and i feel like i'm not going to get a lot of things accomplished today
but i feel like this is the feeling i need, there is no other way

it might be you, it might be with this weather messing with my mind
but i have the greatest treasure and there is no one else in sight
i threw all the pieces together until everything was all entwined
because with this i don't need anything, and everything is right

i could fall through the sky over and over until my heart jumps a beat
take everything and pop it in my mouth and the taste will be sweet
picturing a simple butterfly will only take up a figment of my imagination
but the elation demands concentration which will result in fascination

rays of sunlight beat down on me and i just close my eyes
a simple breath of this fresh air and i will proceed to rise

the world is self destructive

it saw me laying face down in the shade
and it blew life onto me, it wasn't afraid
the storm subsided and it carried me away
i enjoyed the view as i let my arms sway
the world is self destructive but i still felt safe

it lay me in the middle of the ocean and i floated
and it filled me with goodness until i was bloated
the feeling was so good, it pulled me into unconsciousness
we could have died, there was nothing to confess
the world is self destructive but i was content

the whole beauty of it all threw colors all over the place
it became real, touchable, it was all mine to embrace
to call it my own, to replace all the ideas in my brain
it was mine to keep until i felt pain, until i felt no pain
the world is self destructive and i was ready to face it on my own

the opportunity is so true

force the time to stop and we claw our way to the other side
they will stare us down but we won't stop, we'll collide
we'll collide, we'll collide
we don't know it, but as our eyes grew wide
wider, wider, wider, we knew we wouldn't be denied

we stopped in our tracks to enjoy the small bit of sunlight
it entered through a crack in the clouds
it ignited our excitement, it was so enticing
we didn't know what the day would bring
but we were excited about what the day would bring

so we sat on the cold ground and counted the time that passed
tired, so tired of waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting
you threw stones at the lake, i drew stones from the lake
and we were wide awake when it happened, so awake
we knew this opportunity could make or break us
no hesitation, we made our way through the darkness

clear

i ride on the highest hill to try and catch a glimpse of what's passing by
but the heavy winds like to get together and fly into my eye

i wish i could jump off this hill and leave all of you behind
and lay on the loneliest field to let all my thoughts unwind

the highest winds will be jealous of their counterparts below
they will scowl as my hair goes with the direction of the flow

i can water the flowers with my thoughts, i don't need them anymore
tell them all the things piled on my chest that i would've never said before

my dreams will be interrupted by whatever happens stop by
take me to the desert floor or way up in the sky

i don't care what happens anymore, i already know who i really am
but i don't think i'd tell you that because you still think i give a damn

loud noises

we can run! we can run out of our minds! then stop!
do we have to reach the top? no! we don't need to be on top!
lay low! smell the flowers growing on the sweet, sweet ground
it smells so profound! no! but you're even more profound!

disarray

imagine lying half awake in the middle of nowhere
tell yourself you've done that, you've been there
nothing within a thousand miles from you dares to move an inch
tiny raindrops gently fall on your face and your eyes slightly flinch

blink for a split second just to clear your view
watch the sky slowly turn gray as it begins to hue
the ground breaks apart and creates enough room for you to fall
the world is huge, the world is huge, and you're so small

if anybody hears you, i am sure they will let you know
if anybody cares at all, i am sure they will let it show
through the clouds, through the leaves, through the snow
through the rain, through the ground, just let go

let the beautiful scenery engulf you, chew you, spit you out
then it will shoot into your head without any doubt
no doubt at all, no doubt whatsoever
you will know, it'll stay by your side forever

here, leave what you want, take what you need
let your sharp senses slowly lose speed
let it lift you up the ground and take you away
disarray, disarray, disarray, thoughts of disarray

sun

the sun is up, the sun is high, it calls your name
it's done that since you were born, it's stayed the same
it awakens you, it beckons you, you're staring face-to-face
the amazing feeling of it all has you stuck in outer space
it has you jumping up and down, going from place to place
it will always stay the same, it will always call your name
and you just hope it will not fade away, that is will stay the same

in the dark

the vines intertwined with your soul as you faced the darkness ahead
and it was too late to turn back, the footsteps were closing in
it was your last chance, your last chance to face the darkness ahead
you knew it was too late to turn back, the footsteps were closing in

nothing makes sense in the darkness
your shadows are hidden and they dance where you can't see them
you can make any ridiculous face without the fear of being seen
you made the darkness yours, there was nothing in between
the spirits hidden in the dark come out to play
and with the flow you go, with the flow you sway

stop the time, pull apart the mechanisms that run your clock
count in your head as you run, count out loud as you walk
your hand rips from your arm and it runs off on it own
your heart turns into gold and your brain into stone
laugh at nothing because the darkness turns you into nothing
so join me in the dark where no one can see you, and you'll be nothing

we are nothing in the dark, but we are more than you'll ever be
we waste time in the dark, and we are more than you'll ever be
the dark makes me laugh, it makes me cry, it sends shivers down my spine
a masterpiece is a marvel but a line is divine
you're a line, you're a line, you're a line

realization is knocking at your door

a man searched the ground for any hints of buried treasure
checking every crack, every hint, no time for leisure
a child nearby petting a stray dog desperate for attention
eyes focused and fixed, voluntarily trapped in his own little detention
an elderly lady walking, admiring what she'd seen a million times
greeting me, a complete stranger, with a "good afternoon"
i guess not everyone is bad, i guess there are good people sometimes
the child would eventually be bitten by the dog
the man would look just to find nothing,
the woman would suffer and die too soon
but the child enjoyed every minute with the stray
the man would find his treasure someday
the elderly woman will be reunited with her husband
and i realized that there are still more aspects of life to comprehend

worldy desires safely locked up in our heads

the clouds are dancing over our heads and we agree with the world
we knew right there for just a split second, we finally understood
why she was feeling blue, why he decided taking shortcuts was the only way
why they make fools out of themselves, they put themselves on display
they make us laugh throughout the night
while they cry inside, shielding their faces from sight

i understand what you're going through
no, i have no idea what could possibly be wrong with you
sit with me and let's stay out of the limelight
we have ourselves, we don't need anyone else to make things right
the decisions we are going to make will decide our lives
but let's make pictures with the clouds while the right time has yet to arrive

we make castles and lions and mountains from the clouds
i take you up the steps of the castle and we reign over the crowd
we can take up our swords and slay the lion dead
i will take you so high up the mountain all the oxygen will run from our heads
we don't ever have to know the reason for the blue or the route of the shortcut
and the clouds will dance over our heads and we'll agree with the world

nobody likes tea

we grabbed a hold of ourselves and proceeded out the door
holding off the doubters until our hearts were sore
i am pretty sure you have impacted my life in some way
you seem to almost unintentionally lead me astray
those thoughts distract me from making any progress
you make me digress, you make me digress

we paint beautiful portraits just to eat it all up
so we can try to close our eyes just to see it again
we can drink expensive tea from crystal cups
and spit it out and pour it down the drain
it tastes like shit, oh my god, it's terrible
the taste in our tongues are unbearable

we are unstoppable, we walk down the abandoned street
the sense of urgency almost seems touchable, concrete
the sidewalk is concrete, so urgency is like the sidewalk
we stay off the sidewalk because we love to non-conform
so let whatever is coming come in the form of a storm
and we will face it with the handful of confidence we've saved

you are my demon, you are my monster

your words come out sloppy and your speech is slurred
the look on your face is sincere but i'm still not assured
you simply avoid the simplest things there are to say
but your false honesty won't lead me astray

i will stay strong and i will stay faithful
faithful of myself
i will stay strong and i will stay faithful
faithful of myself

the demons and monsters will continue to haunt me
the demons and monsters will continue to fail
you will just stand there, blind, failing to see
that you are the demon
that you are the monster
you have no clue that you are desperately trying to haunt me
and you have no idea that you will fail past eternity

the earth stands over us

it is clearly evident that the earth is growing over your feet
it makes its way up your legs and swallows you whole
until you are no more

it grasps you with no relent until digestion is complete
you are gone from sight, it has swallowed your soul
and you are no more

you were nothing special, and your flesh is now meat
your lifeless eyes stared nowhere, you had no control
now you are no more

the earth is your father, the earth whips you while you quiver
stand and shiver to show you are inferior, stand and shiver
avoid the lights in order to avoid the imminent embarrassment
tell yourself it wasn't meant to be, it clearly was not meant
to go down like it did, to go down with everyone against you
you ponder that while the earth slowly takes over you
it savors the moment

nonsense thoughts

wouldn't it be nice if we placed ourselves in the middle of beautiful scenery
or maybe in our deathbeds just to be on the contrary
we're wasting so much time, we're killing too much time
you're a murderer, you've just committed the worst possible crime
you could've hid behind time but you've wasted it all
nothing to hold onto, nothing to grasp as you're about to fall

but we can make more time, give me time to make more time
i can give you all the time in the world so you can waste more time
i'll stop by time and time again to see how you've spent your time
and if i have enough time, i'll stick around so we can waste more time

we can let the direction of the wind help us decide where we're headed next
it doesn't have to be complex but it can be if you want it to be complex
i'll lead us to the eye of a tornado and let it shoot us up in the air
then we'll let gravity decide our fate from all the way up there
think of all the sights we'll see thousands of feet up in the sky
look at us, look at us, look at us, look at us, look at us as we fly

the ground is rapidly coming at us as we continue our quick descent
our fates could be punishment, or maybe it could be heaven sent
maybe we weren't meant to live our lives according to plan
maybe it was suppose to end right when it began
the times we spent have left me happy and content
but the ground is rapidly coming at us and we continue to descent

everyone should have the opportunity to express their own thoughts
slap you when you're completely going out of your own mind
no one should have the opportunity to express their own thoughts
wrecking havoc and destroying anything ever considered mankind
we can run from it all and sit high up in the depths of the sky
and we can enjoy beautiful scenery as the world around us slowly dies

i'm alive today

today is going to be a good day
today is going to be better than yesterday
i'm going to turn things around this time around
turn things around with these aspects of life i've found
i'm going to realize how lucky i am to wake up each morning
how life is rushing at me without any sign of warning
learning not to regret the smallest mistakes anyone could make
we breathe, we laugh, we smile, we cry, we scream, we ache
but we're alive, and it is the greatest thing in the world
we are alive, please realize that you are alive
plain and simply alive, not twirled around or swirled
we've arrived to thrive, to strive, to survive
i'm going to lay in the middle of nowhere just because i can
set out on an adventure with no clear path, no clear plan
i have you, i have the world, you have me, you have yourself
realizing how lucky i am to sit here and think for myself
i wouldn't trade it for the world

me and my friends

as still as can be as i floated along the stream leading to nowhere
i was carefree as i drifted in the weightless air
i don't know how you're waiting at my final destination
i have no destination
we unintentionally go with the flow and face whatever comes
we have no destination
me and my friends don't have any idea what's going on
we watch the stars at night and the sunrise at dawn
laying so quiet just to hear bluebirds sing from miles away
telling each other how much we care every single day
me and my friends have no clear path to walk on
we are messed up in the head, we are so fucking gone
swimming on the front lawn and sleeping in the pool
excavating your living room in hopes of finding a jewel
me and my friends sit along the wall
of what everyone worked so hard to build
waiting for that right moment, waiting for the call
to do whatever we haven't already fulfilled

a sharp clicking sound

i was lying in my room one day, my back to the cold floor
staring at the ceiling with my mouth open and heartbeat steady
when i heard a sharp clicking sound i'd never heard before
not the loudest noise ever but loud to a certain degree

i shut off my ears with my hands but the sound persisted
it screwed open my head and let its influence spread
no matter how much i tried to, i couldn't ignore
yelling at it to shut up, i began pounding the floor

the floorboards began to fall apart one by one
i watched in shock as the screws twisted undone

the naked pieces of wood fell into the dark
and i hung on the last piece as it bent into an arc
the piece broke off eventually and i was falling
falling through what i couldn't see
falling through what i couldn't feel
falling through what i couldn't hear

my surroundings went red, then white, then yellow, then blue
it was always something original, always something new

i heard the clicking, it was clearly eating away at my sanity
and all i had at this point of my insanity
were words i could add to my list of profanity

i fell headfirst, i fell feet first, i fell with my arms spread out
until i landed in hot water, something i knew all about
i swam to the top but there clearly was no top
and i knew the suffocation obviously would not stop

i was lying in my room that one day, my back to the cold floor
staring at the ceiling with my mouth open and heartbeat steady
and when i heard a sharp clicking sound i'd never heard before
it was a sound that i should've brushed off and completely ignored

permanent

i wish you could stay longer, stay longer and spread your happiness
you make me digress, you make me confess, you make me express
i'm hoping you'd stay forever so you can scare my spirits away
you make me stray, you make my day, so please just stay
it would be nice if you never left and kept my hopes hanging high
i'd never die, i won't deny, you'd keep me reaching for the sky
you keep me content, you're heaven-sent, you keep me in the present
but you're leaving soon, the door is opening, i wish you were permanent

relentless

the sunlight's futile attempts to peak in a little sunlight onto your day
the wind's dismal attempts to blow all of your problems away

its the necessity of the necessary to do the impossible
maybe its because no one has ever accomplished it
all their false hopes clothe it to look very possible
even though all of them already know its a bunch of bullshit

but they keep it locked away with a very optimistic smile
holding you upright just to make it seem worthwhile
they're all rooting for you to cross the finish line
but you even know they think you're out of your mind

you always strive for more just to fall on your face
moving so fast like you think everything is a race
they bask in the sunlight and move with the wind
the thought of you accomplishing anything just makes them grin
i hope you prove them wrong and take the smirks off all their faces
that you put yourself where you belong and put them in their places

steadfast

i can stare through a window and see absolutely nothing
i can wait forever just to see what life can bring
i can stare at a brick wall and see the whole world
i can close my eyes and see happiness unfold
i can talk gibberish and i bet you'll call me crazy
i can break through gravity and then i'll be free

the tide is turning for the worse, but you must understand
that everything happening now has already been planned
grasp what you think is not there, and i swear
the feeling of falling into air will be as simple as air
hold your breath and count to ten
and repeat the same process again and again

you're so original, no one has ever done that before
and after you land in the water you will drift to shore
i like to lay there and hope rain will fall on my face
and wait till the sun goes down to stare into space

i can wait my whole life just to die old and alone
i can hold my breath until my lungs have turned to stone
or i can stand up right there and walk towards the sunset
i can learn to forgive myself and to never regret

counting with my fingers

i still count with my fingers but i still manage to manage
i still get by with obviously imaginary advantages
i can list a thousand reasons
but they're not really reasons
and i can tell even more lies
but my reasons are like lies
there must be an extra beat in my heart
because it always beats more than it should
and i can't tell the simplest things apart
but i always say you're the one who's misunderstood
i stand on a stool just so you can look up at me
i stand on a stool just so i don't have trouble seeing
there is no balance in this universe
then why do i never lose my balance on that stool
they tell you that it's not healthy to curse
but you do it anyways because you think you're cool
i can save you from all of the avoidable embarrassments
because your foolishness can create world-loads of entertainment
they laugh at everything nowadays
a kid trips and they laugh nowadays
but please don't retaliate and trip them back
they don't think it's funny, they'll hit you back
but what's the point of this, what's the point of you
what's the point of you if i can see right through you
is it because i knew that the who was you
and that you knew where to find that incredible view
or were you playing pointless but ever so exciting mind tricks
the kind of tricks that only you seem to laugh at
but don't pay attention to them, they're a bunch of dicks
stay calm and collected to avoid immediate combat
because i bet you can count with your fingers faster than them
and that says something about your character
and even though i can't put my finger to the tip of the stem
just remember it has something to do with fingers and character

something in the way

i made my way forward with hands smeared with dirt
with so many holes in my shoes that walking actually hurt
i made my way past what i couldn't hear or touch
stumbling as i walked, there was nothing i could clutch
it was a burden trying to mount up the strength
to make it through the night of continuous length
the ground seemed to sink right before my very eyes
so beyond words, i couldn't even sum up a surmise
it's in front of my very own eyes, i swear i can sense it
but i couldn't grab it, i couldn't let it transmit

through my heavy, overused mind
through my dull, incomprehensible mind
through my capable but stubborn mind
just because i couldn't accept the fact
the fact that i knew the odds were stacked
so high they touched the clouds
i covered it so it could shroud
what was obviously a silly attempt to carry on alone
keep carrying on until i've broken every bone
until i absolutely positively could not do it on my own

because there's something in the way
but i am to ignorant to say
what is running through my crowded mind
you might as well say that i'm blind
i do a terribly good impersonation

for myself i am an optimist - it does not seem to be much use being anything else

the way the slight breeze subsided and waves ceased as you walked by
the way the clouds disappeared and left the sun alone in the sky
i hope you realize the significance, how lucky you must be
from the highest point on the mountaintop to the bottom of the sea
the fact that you gained no recognition for standing on your own two feet
taking an bite out of happiness and remembering how it tasted so sweet
when you took the hit for all your friends just to be left to die
and having no apparent idea like the catcher in the rye
but i bet he had an idea, and he knew how to exploit it better than you
remember when you took four hours to climb a mountain just for the view
i swear you were happy, i swear you saw life with another perspective
you remember how living the good life used to seem so attractive
take the first of many steps and please throw a smile on your face
you just might see something pleasant the next time you stare off into space

imaginary boundaries

the branches have rotted and fallen from the old tree years ago
but the years spent alone have helped them keep their shape
the trees bend into unimaginable figures and carry a full head of snow
a little stream of water crawls through the ground and it is quiet
then the sun beats down and the stream slowly becomes a river
the flowers grow through the cracks on the ground and it is beautiful
and the trees began to sprout leaves until the leaves are plentiful
there is no doubt or uncertainty creating a disturbance here
nothing is blurry and there is no need to be hesitant
the wind is refreshing and the sun is heart-warming and sincere
and nothing you have in your heart is what this place represents
the time pases by ever so slowly but the snow creates a magnificent scene
and with a quick snap of a finger the snow will melt and the grass will be green
everything will be plain and evident and nothing will be suspicious
nothing will lose faith and the still air will prove to be propitious

voices, the beast, and my spirit

sometimes i hear voices calling to me in the middle of the night
heavy lights sneak through the window and shoot straight into my eyes
everything fades away and the only color is see is white
you then tie me up and taunt me with your words just to make me despise

but i can't hate you for taking me away and showing me the way
and the fact that you can't make me hate you leaves you in dismay
you lead me out the door and slam the door in my face
the bright white colors overwhelm me and my heart races at a rapid pace
a beast emerges from the white forest and swallows me whole
it can consume me but it can not ever defeat my soul

the beast flies through the eye of the storm and i am always with it
and as long as it continues to persist my presence never ceases to emit
the fact that i am alive and fighting for the thought of seeing white again
i picture you doubting me and it continues to keep me sane

because the voices are calling out to me, calling me back home
but i will not answer their calls as long as my spirit continues to roam
through the valley of flowers and the clouds as they flood the sky
and memories of distant days will continue to incite me until the day i die

endless possibilities

they say we're a massive amount of people living in a crowded place
even though we're capable of flying out into outer space
i haven't even seen ten percent of the world yet, and it makes me wonder
how it would've been if the continents hadn't been torn asunder

you're a whole oceans length away, and you wonder the same thing
thinking of what you'll do in the future, and what it might bring
i think i'll travel the world someday, and i'll run into you
and we can map out our ideas and plans we will construe

because you are not alone, you're not the only one that knows
that endless possibilities exist if we simply propose
our simplest ideas, and our most complex ones yet
and we can pursue it in a heartbeat, without breaking a sweat

our minds retain a steady beat

there was a sharp yet soothing feeling lingering in the stale air
it was nowhere to be seen or touched, but we could tell it was there
the feeling was contagious, we could feel it traveling though our veins
and the sudden shock it created shot straight up into our brains

we were stuck in a fixation of a heavy mixture of melancholy and joy
i felt like the world was propped out in front of us for us to enjoy
and we felt so alive within our own minds crowded with useless thoughts
i cut my head right open and threw my brain on the ground to rot

i ran around shouting, "frances farmer will have her revenge on seattle"
and i prayed that curt cobain would save me from this inevitable battle
we got wooden baseball bats and chased joseph stalin through russia
i think we hit his head so many times he now suffers from amnesia

fuck you, i don't want to return to our ordinary boring society
the world we are stuck in now is so much better
i don't feel any pain here, everything is still and there is no anxiety
the world we hold onto so tightly is so much better

i think you should step off the stage, houdini is due up next
and his act beats yours by a mile, i think you need more preparation
gather around in a circle, we are motivated by the words of malcolm x
bush and bin laden can be next door neighbors in this dream nation

we are at one with the world, and it stays still for us to feel
it bares all of its secrets because it simply has nothing to conceal
i think we'll wake up the next day to live our our lives expectedly
but i know that whenever we think those thoughts, we'll be free

i am so smart

i am so smart
i am really really smart
so very very smart
i am so smart i can pull bill gates apart
i am so smart i ride around in a go-kart
i am so smart i excel in art
i am so smart i can make a paper heart
i am so smart i don't run, i dart
i am so smart i tell you when to start
i am so smart i interrogate pop-tarts
i am so smart i don't let nomads depart
i am so smart i spend quality time making a chart
i am so smart but i don't know the meaning of impart
and i am so motherfucking smart i can make you fart

decisions, decisions

we can make this last, we can hold it tight and never let go
we can plant it on the sweet, sweet ground and watch it grow
we can swear our lives to it, we can swear to never let it fall
we can write down what we feel, and post it up on the wall

and we will call it the best thing in the world
all of our favorite things put together and swirled
around and around and around and around
and we can jump in and smile as we drown

i am enthralled by this sudden wave of commotion
all these loud sounds and noises trigger my emotion
and i am in the middle of the crowd staring right at you
knowing miles and miles away you're staring back too

we didn't ask for what we have, and we are denied what we want
and the fact that i fought for you just to let you go continues to haunt
and chill me to the bone, it never ceases to chill me to my fucking bone
but i've continued to be happy through it all, because i have grown

even though i can't articulate the thoughts racing through my mind
i can tell you that whatever it is, it continues to redefine
the things that continue to help me unwind
and i have come to know it, and we continue to intertwine
you are a happy memory now, because i have decided to leave you behind
and it seems to be a decision i will never take back

the pills are ill

i met you on the last intersection on the right
it was night out but the lamppost was shining bright
i met up with my best friend on that cold friday night
and i felt content, and the feeling was quite alright

i felt like there was nothing holding me still
and i lived that night only for the thrill
because i was free, there was nothing to fulfill
so open your goddamn mouth and pop in life's pill

on a particularly hot day

i was walking home one day from school and the sun was completely nude
it was showing off everything it had and i turned to my friend and said, "dude,
it is motherfucking hot today."
not looking up, my friend replied, "okay."
i dragged my feet along while envying the people in their air conditioned cars
and i kept repeating "fuck", because my house was so fucking far!

"dude, shut up. i can't hear my music."
"shut the fuck up. fall out boy is pretty fucking gay."
"they're pretty good in acoustic."
"dude, how are we friends. get the fuck away."

our arizonas had been empty for a while and we discarded the cans
so i kept repeating the eff word, and my friend just turned up his ipod
i walked as slow as a snail, shielding my eyes with my hands
my house seemed like it was getting farther away, how fucking odd

so fuck you sun, why don't you put on some damn clothes
because when it's hot, everything is longer and slow
that's what she said

ellipse

can you tell me, how you ever decided to leave us all alone?
you went ahead as you let all of us just sit back and drone
you're off to bigger and better things, shining lights and fame
we sat laughing in our dusty rooms, but it just wasn't the same
maybe you're stronger than us, maybe you grasped the opportunity
the feeling of guilt can strike us down, but you had that immunity
that immunity landed on you, and you brushed it away
i guess we are all proud of you, but your actions left us in dismay
you're exquisite, you're elite, you have the world on your fingertips
but please have some consideration, your presence has created an ellipse

the subway

i rode on the subway train at twelve in the morning, and i was tired
my hand held the letter, and i began to remember what had just transpired
an old man stared at me with his expressionless eyes as i opened the letter
i studied this man; he had thick glasses with brown khakis and a green sweater
nervously smiling, i quickly looked down and began to read what i knew by heart
then entered a large lady, accompanied by large plastic bags and a Kmart cart
i looked up from the letter and stared at a fly, as it just buzzed and flew around
i wondered what it was thinking, what its intention was as it landed on the ground
my mind began to wander from one thing to another, and thoughts filled my head
staring at my reflection on the glass, i told myself i needed a haircut and my bed
staring at my dirty shoes tapping the ground, the old man loudly grunted
i knew he wanted me to stop, but the beat was too good for me to stop
i suddenly knew what i needed at this exact moment, not only what i wanted
the train moved on slowly as i blew a bubble with my gum until it popped
the night was brighter, i smiled big, and i threw the letter to the ground
i laughed, the man grunted, the woman smiled, and the night was profound

a carefully organized symphony

you never told me what to do, and you never held me back
you never told me what i was good for or what i lacked
you never stared back at me wanting an answer to my actions
you were always a loner, never dissolving into any different factions

i was always by your side, i never let anything happen to you
i sat there bewildered at you, knowing i had not a single clue
i always found a smile on my face when you were close by
i then felt empty inside when my eyes met your empty eyes

we would sit together and not say one word for hours and hours
we went everywhere together but we had nothing to call ours
we constantly stared off into space, appreciating the ensuing silence
we knew what time the sun rose and what time the sun set

they threw sticks and stones, but our bones were never broken
they always said what they wanted, and i wished i was that outspoken
they constantly got our attention but never knew how to keep it
they would never quit however, i lay back as they continue to persist

you took me to the pier once, and i felt like time had stopped and you were mine
i thought this life would stay easy forever, and the world would never cease to shine
we always shared our thoughts with our thoughts, not with our words
they never stopped talking, but i was still content, and the feeling was never absurd

maybe maybe

i talk really fast and laugh at how terribly funny i sound
i watch the sun set, watch it rise, and call it profound
i shout really loud and whisper low to hear the difference
i stand at the edge of a cliff because the feeling is intense

i do not believe we enjoy the littlest things in our life
the problems we encounter are plenty and rife
i think we should take a seat and take a look around
listen to the rainfall and enjoy the beautiful sound

we do not accentuate the qualities that keep us content
money and fame are not what happiness represents
tension should not be a word, but even i feel it all the time

let the artists write on the walls without calling it a crime
don't hesitate to say what you mean, and it doesn't have to rhyme
we are all stuck on the same planet and forced to co-exist
if everyone cared just a little bit, maybe we wouldn't have to subsist

we can shout really loud and whisper low to hear the difference
we can stand at the edge of a cliff because the feeling is intense
because sometimes, the minor things are the finer things

the epitome of stupidity

we can float for all eternity in my blank empty mind
you'd think my mind was tangled up, but there is nothing to unwind
shout all you want, and the echoes will never stop ringing
and as i sit with you, i stare into your eyes while you're talking
i try to comprehend what you're saying, but i can never make it out
my mind has long been blank; i have no idea what you're talking about

maybe in another lifetime

i wonder if you had ever wanted to die, and never ever come back
if you've ever wanted to lose consciousness till all you saw was black
you remain happy through all the insults they continue to throw at you
they can continue to argue, but i am sure it will never get through

everybody is going to the back alley to smoke their night away
getting high out of their minds until their skin turns gray
everybody is going to the back alley to avoid our everyday problems
trying to cuss with every sentence and rap along with eminem

you should have never trusted their word
i look at you now with too much pity to hold in my hands
you should have jetted before it ever occurred
i talk of you in regret; you know we had so much planned

past actions and present decisions

i persevere through each day, with no regret of past actions
those past actions had left a faint scent of satisfaction
those past actions had left everyone shaking their heads
thinking i was in my own world, not looking ahead

i live through each night, sitting alone all to myself
now with clean hands thanks to the beliefs of someone else
i have old memories shrunk into framed pictures standing on my shelf
i have old memories vividly drawn out in my recovering mind
breaking them down everyday, i continue to redefine
everything i had once held dearly
i still hold them dearly, and every night i sign it sincerely

all you faggots have no idea what is going through my head
your influences continue to creep in my heart and continue to spread
you keep me happy and content, as i start a new life
all you faggots overreacted in what you called a time of strife
and i continue to sit alone through each and every night
because the decisions i have made do not seem quite right

loose screws

i think i know you, but i am not sure of that yet
so come with me, and we can clear the blur confusing us
the world will be laid out in front of us like blankets
with only ourselves and needing no one to trust

i don't know anything but the truth, and it distracts me
it tells me its secrets softly into my ear, and i never agree
the truth stares at me with a disgusting look in its eyes
i'll cover it with the blanket laid out for us, and continue to deny

there are no stars for us, i happened to eat it all
they exploded in my mouth and had themselves quite a brawl
you look at me with clear displeasure and expect an apology
but i do what i think is right; i learned it in psychology
i failed that class

my conscience tried to straighten out my distorted mind
i thanked it kindly but i simply declined
the loose screws in my head kept me alive and well
and besides, i've hated science all my life
take off the con-, and what does it spell?

the visibly discontent look on your face caught my attention
you won't talk to me at all, and i hate all this unnecessary tension
so i took out a piece of paper, wrote ideas, and simply improvised
i took out my sharpie and drew a smile over your frown
and now i must admit, you look quite nice

living in my dreams

i try to focus as hard as i can as i try to walk a straight line
sweat rolls down my pale face as my vision and focus continue to decline
my hands shake as they reach for the walls, and it is always out of my reach
i try talking myself through this, but i can not comprehend my distorted speech
my red, swollen eyes look up to the light and its bright flash blinds me
then i fall to the ground, staring into my thoughts; my eyes are closed but i can see

everything was so clear then, before i had succumbed to the pressures around me
i walked that straight line and out the door, and i was as free as can be
my hands were snug in the safety of my pockets and my eyes stared at the stars
but that was long ago, and thinking about it always felt a little bizarre
i was sick of who i had become, and felt like i needed to make some changes
and i swear i would've done something about it, if only i wasn't so deranged