sweet serenity

this light of mine divides just right

smooth euphoria make me alright

what this has come to is fine with me

just as long as i can see

the truth hanging from my gaping mouth

kind of sad that you're not around

i have grown taller with emotion

bleeding profusely with so much devotion

see me walk with so much composure

every moment without any disclosure

with everything you have, give them hell!

keep your lovely chin up, do it well

you are a sincere song as you decrescendo

sunny days with milky clouds overflow

the flowers can be an orchestra for all to hear

playing off the day so it can disappear

with straining times the colours juxtaposition

by shear honest volition and admission

is it really sad that you've lost everything

all for your new revival this coming spring?

if it makes no sense but you are happy

not standing in the corner sappy

in a room with all your friends and friends to be

there were never any windows for the light to see

you are light enough i heard them say

the only anchor so come what may

a tidal wave of unexpected spirit

stitched to your lungs so you can breathe it

floating through space but not far away

and nothing here to make you stay

as the story unfolds one thing is clear

there was never any reason to make this sincere

which is why this is held in revere

can't you see the golden morning appear?

over the swell drawing ever so near

so every piece of my life can finally cohere

pretty girl to my left

this constant search for comforting reminders

i am in utero with the neverminders

my timid eyes gaze into a void for all eternity

this black, arduous, tired abyss all that i could see

knee deep in wasted desires waiting for my ride

to your uninterested ears everything i confide

secrets, secrets, my true feelings

painfully etched out empty meanings

transparent

when the storm is at its peak

i will proceed to set sail

facing waves transparent and pale

chances ever so bleak

i just want to go far away

set my sights on uncertain unknowns

start from scratch all alone

because i know i'll never stay

i used to be so full of hope

until it ran off to uncertain unknowns

leaving me just skin and bones

my mind hanging from a rope

miles will come and miles will go

worn down with all my doubt

hoping not to flicker out

melioristic thoughts will always show

chances ever so bleak

facing waves transparent and pale

i will proceed to set sail

when the storm is at its peak

M.I.W.I.F.B

you fall like snow
so peaceful as you float on down
ever careless, that much i know
scattering easy all around

you hate the sun
easing its way between the clouds
winter was gone just as it had begun
the warm rays knew no bounds

i was the breeze
making myself known wherever i pleased
just going along with utmost ease
existing only in emotions i believed

these beliefs are my truths
the snow will fall once again
the retreating sun is blinding proof
with the breeze floating on to no end

it was the pale blue glow through the rear-view mirror

nothing is stable but the earth i lay on
waiting to float up to god above
with the windows shut and the shades drawn
tasting the pleasures i often dream of

the sunset was so resplendent
transforming everything to mere silhouettes
the lonely moon following wherever i went
never to forget and never to set

my god why do i exist
fully content all by myself
your will is a never ending mist
and i am all by myself

my bête noire

i am at the end of this road.
how slowly my realization falls into place
but such is life as is always the case
mental projections come to life in vivid hues
it melts onto my eyes, it is stitched into my view
i have put my head down with my hands over my eyes
my chin over waves of truth until all my hopes have died
i am a bird in constant flight collecting every image i see
every little piece becoming all i will ever be
so now i stand alone... beaten, tried, & true
the manifestation of all my nightmares slowly coming into view

beautiful intricate

there is this light i hardly know
it flickers at a distance for me to see
when i reach out it strays away
just to inch closer when i close my eyes

i know that i trust more than i should
it's a flaw my mother always points out
i am being led to my own demise
like everyone is out to cut my down

but what do i care, i like the twinkle in your eyes
the way your shirt rests easy on your body
when the sun shines down you soak it in
your trembling hands on your careful legs

opinions just frustrate me to no end
but why do i care, really why do i care
i am losing sleep staring at the lonely moon
trying in vain to understand its perpetual glow

my hair is never the way i want it to be
and i am slowly losing interest in who i am not
this shirt it is old but it smells like home
my dry hands holding my shaking legs

i am learning from all that i happen to see
wondering about all that i am yet to see
i am not who i was years and years ago
back when i was unaware but unmistakably happy

now i worry too much about every little thing
even though i know nobody gives a shit
i would let my mind wander if i could let it astray
but it stays chained to my brain and my thoughts they remain

my heart sings melodies that i can't place on my tongue
beautiful intricate pieces you will never get to hear
nobody deserves to listen to it, especially not me
with my blind trust, uncertainty, still searching

i am getting older but the road has just began
it is a straight barren road yet i am always lost
so i follow any light from any single source
ever so confusing but i am the epitome of hope

hopeful that i will see the light i hardly know
let it settle in my hands at a distance i will find
and when i finally do lay to rest
i will not care anymore