ever gaze

i am so tired

i think i'll know when the sun will come up

i dread the tranquility

as it lulls me into an unwanted slumber

i am inconsolable

the light bounces off the wooden floor

into my wandering heart

shadows hanging from the closing door

goddamn it

all i've ever wanted was to feel at peace

and now it does not elude me

that is what frustrates me the most

despite my countless doubts

i think i will know when it is right

stretching my restless limbs

my ever firm resolve in my ever gazing sight

dust

these dreams are vivid taking over my heart

waking up weary eyed to the deepest disappointment

why do i have the motives of the saddest young poet

hating the words i muster without much effort

i see the most mysterious colours, i really do

crashing and diving into the deepest part of you

the clouds are children so innocent and pale

just floating on to the sounds of the atmosphere

will you cry tomorrow or surprise me again

i have not drank anything in weeks

my throat and voice yearn for your nourishment

and as you sleep i attempt to enter into your dreams

even though you'd kill me i am at ease

i will keep coming back numb with longer hair

if you leave with your thoughts intact

what will become of the hollow body i inhabit

you can't take away the only thing i find real

i am not ready to see the world in black and white yet

content on staying right where i am

because the grass is gray over there too

the flock of birds will fly away for all eternity

into the waves of harmony i am not in sync with

it put its arms around me and led me into the abyss

my eyes have no life but i force myself to sit

you kill me every time you smile your beautiful smile

i hope you know this you fucking bitch

making this living hell a little worthwhile

i long to make you mine far into the afterlife

you puncture the flesh of my heart, you are my knife

the veins in my arm long to wrap around you

all for your fucking smile, ever real and ever true

down my back flows a river leading to nowhere

forming the ice that seeps from my glare

sending mixed messages received by indifferent minds

i give up because i am content to go off on my own

my love for all of this has never been more true

even though i will never be what you expect me to be

wondering where my golden ring is hiding

everything was beautiful but i fucked it up

all once settled and clear but now up

in dust, dust, everything is up in dust

i fucked it up and everything is now up in dust

that's when you're done

why were you so beautiful that day

like your eyes were meant to pierce my soul

chop me into little bits to make me whole

my dearest dear you were beautiful that day

counting down time with your fingertips

keeping composure while my patience slips

i am the beast that waits real low

but with my eyes cut dry i will never know

and when the lights peak through say it isn't so

to be loved

if you lie to me and say i'm soothing

i will sing you sad songs forever

all because your voice is reassuring

i will keep my eyes closed forever

sweet serenity

this light of mine divides just right

smooth euphoria make me alright

what this has come to is fine with me

just as long as i can see

the truth hanging from my gaping mouth

kind of sad that you're not around

i have grown taller with emotion

bleeding profusely with so much devotion

see me walk with so much composure

every moment without any disclosure

with everything you have, give them hell!

keep your lovely chin up, do it well

you are a sincere song as you decrescendo

sunny days with milky clouds overflow

the flowers can be an orchestra for all to hear

playing off the day so it can disappear

with straining times the colours juxtaposition

by shear honest volition and admission

is it really sad that you've lost everything

all for your new revival this coming spring?

if it makes no sense but you are happy

not standing in the corner sappy

in a room with all your friends and friends to be

there were never any windows for the light to see

you are light enough i heard them say

the only anchor so come what may

a tidal wave of unexpected spirit

stitched to your lungs so you can breathe it

floating through space but not far away

and nothing here to make you stay

as the story unfolds one thing is clear

there was never any reason to make this sincere

which is why this is held in revere

can't you see the golden morning appear?

over the swell drawing ever so near

so every piece of my life can finally cohere

pretty girl to my left

this constant search for comforting reminders

i am in utero with the neverminders

my timid eyes gaze into a void for all eternity

this black, arduous, tired abyss all that i could see

knee deep in wasted desires waiting for my ride

to your uninterested ears everything i confide

secrets, secrets, my true feelings

painfully etched out empty meanings

transparent

when the storm is at its peak

i will proceed to set sail

facing waves transparent and pale

chances ever so bleak

i just want to go far away

set my sights on uncertain unknowns

start from scratch all alone

because i know i'll never stay

i used to be so full of hope

until it ran off to uncertain unknowns

leaving me just skin and bones

my mind hanging from a rope

miles will come and miles will go

worn down with all my doubt

hoping not to flicker out

melioristic thoughts will always show

chances ever so bleak

facing waves transparent and pale

i will proceed to set sail

when the storm is at its peak

M.I.W.I.F.B

you fall like snow
so peaceful as you float on down
ever careless, that much i know
scattering easy all around

you hate the sun
easing its way between the clouds
winter was gone just as it had begun
the warm rays knew no bounds

i was the breeze
making myself known wherever i pleased
just going along with utmost ease
existing only in emotions i believed

these beliefs are my truths
the snow will fall once again
the retreating sun is blinding proof
with the breeze floating on to no end

it was the pale blue glow through the rear-view mirror

nothing is stable but the earth i lay on
waiting to float up to god above
with the windows shut and the shades drawn
tasting the pleasures i often dream of

the sunset was so resplendent
transforming everything to mere silhouettes
the lonely moon following wherever i went
never to forget and never to set

my god why do i exist
fully content all by myself
your will is a never ending mist
and i am all by myself

my bête noire

i am at the end of this road.
how slowly my realization falls into place
but such is life as is always the case
mental projections come to life in vivid hues
it melts onto my eyes, it is stitched into my view
i have put my head down with my hands over my eyes
my chin over waves of truth until all my hopes have died
i am a bird in constant flight collecting every image i see
every little piece becoming all i will ever be
so now i stand alone... beaten, tried, & true
the manifestation of all my nightmares slowly coming into view

beautiful intricate

there is this light i hardly know
it flickers at a distance for me to see
when i reach out it strays away
just to inch closer when i close my eyes

i know that i trust more than i should
it's a flaw my mother always points out
i am being led to my own demise
like everyone is out to cut my down

but what do i care, i like the twinkle in your eyes
the way your shirt rests easy on your body
when the sun shines down you soak it in
your trembling hands on your careful legs

opinions just frustrate me to no end
but why do i care, really why do i care
i am losing sleep staring at the lonely moon
trying in vain to understand its perpetual glow

my hair is never the way i want it to be
and i am slowly losing interest in who i am not
this shirt it is old but it smells like home
my dry hands holding my shaking legs

i am learning from all that i happen to see
wondering about all that i am yet to see
i am not who i was years and years ago
back when i was unaware but unmistakably happy

now i worry too much about every little thing
even though i know nobody gives a shit
i would let my mind wander if i could let it astray
but it stays chained to my brain and my thoughts they remain

my heart sings melodies that i can't place on my tongue
beautiful intricate pieces you will never get to hear
nobody deserves to listen to it, especially not me
with my blind trust, uncertainty, still searching

i am getting older but the road has just began
it is a straight barren road yet i am always lost
so i follow any light from any single source
ever so confusing but i am the epitome of hope

hopeful that i will see the light i hardly know
let it settle in my hands at a distance i will find
and when i finally do lay to rest
i will not care anymore

the tide and how it turns

i was perplexed at the sound of the rain
filling all the streets but nothing to gain
i would gladly let the waters build into a river
fill up in my lungs and my soul it will whither
just floating along because i take what i'm given
the downpour will fill up my dry eyes again
and while i would let myself go in any direction
the wind it blows north in constant succession

so up will i go to the cold and the white
while here it is gloomy over there i see light
oh to leave everyone behind to find my own happiness
i am a portrait of a hopeful and discouraging mess
when the sun drinks the rain i will lay there like i should
with arms outstretched and squinted eyes i will sink into the mud
i am lost but all alone to explore all i have ever yearned
basing my decisions on the tide and how it turns

i choose to be happy with all that i could be
finding brand new meanings from all that i will see

crash and burn

i am all that i could ever be
nothing more and nothing less
trials and tribulations of all i see
a hopeful and discouraging mess

i am a mountain waiting tried and true
standing so tall with everything that i do
with so much sunlight and so much patience
solid still with too much radiance

half of me underwater just praying for the light
the other half so lonely and tired of this night
i shake and crumble to wake my weary friends
but their eyes stay closed because this night has no end

if i crumble and fall i think it would be for the best
into tiny little rocks indistinguishable from the rest
many little fragments of many little memories
the happy and the sad and the unforgettable memories

i was a mountain trying to reach the heavens
just to find out it was for the best to crash and burn
i tried so hard to be different.. just to be different
but i was just a mountain ready to crash and burn

할아버지

when my grandfather died
my father lay on the ground
face down with the tears spilling out
just like the memories he vaguely remembers
as a baby crying in his father's strong arms

i was once a child in humble south korea
running up the steps to the wooden door
into the arms of my grandfather
so gentle like the winds that drifted all around
just like his love which settled in me whole

when my grandfather died
i sat alone on my bed
my feelings were dry just like my eyes
and as the memories kept replaying in my head
i held on tight as the steps fell apart

now my grandfather is underground
thousands of miles away from where i sit
surrounded by thousands of bodies i do not know
under thousands of clouds that watch over him
and with all the heart i possess i miss him dearly

your stare is a song

i am yearning for something i do not desire
for the ocean to tip over and liven by soul
to drop from the skies just to go higher
eat all my insides still to be whole

as all this dust settles my vision is clear
my friends and strangers and all of my future
so while some of my friends aren't always sincere
i can not ever hate them for all my memories stir

it stirs with genuine affection and emotion
piled to the brim of the things i won't forget
painted crystal clear and replayed in slow motion
like priceless paintings or a graceful silhouette

my devotion is blind because the truth always stands out
they can strike me all they want but i'll continue to bleed
these eyes see past all the skin and bones without a single doubt
and i will lay silent still because grace is all i need

it is so nice

it is so nice to look into your eyes
just like the past for all it's worth
when i count all of the things i hate
there is enough time to enjoy the day

your brains are connected to your hearts
to spread the colours from your fingertips
when i take my very first step
i am ready to take a thousand more

the next time i cry i hope it is significant
full of bliss or dying from sorrow
when i see myself from someone else's eyes
maybe then i will understand

my old friends are off living their lives
keeping me in the deep shelves of their hearts
when they finally find their true happiness
i wish our times together could never compare

my eyes are open as i walk into the light
this world is my home but i have a ways to go
when i finally die from the burdens i must hold
let the quiet winds slowly lift them away

add forever after that

when the sun went down i came around
past every little bend that wore me out
out of breath but still safe and sound
weary eyed without a doubt

my lungs are black from past mistakes
emotions shot after many encounters
but still refusing to hit the brakes
silent still but my heart still stirs

when i was nine i seized the world
there was nothing else i would've done
at night i fell and into a ball i curled
just waiting for the coming sun

a few years down the road i met a girl
who made me shiver and melt with joy
the butterflies they came and twirled
until she got bored and left for another boy

the pain she left broke my every bone
so i slept away the pain for weeks on end
but fuck her i could do this all alone
find interesting things i could call my friends

leaving school early over the fence i go
in a dark empty room with faces i do not know
the drugs were amazing how did i never know
feeling so high how could i ever have been so low

i threw my life into the vast ocean
it made me smile the way it sank
zero emotion and this lack of devotion
the biggest smile but my mind so blank

now here i sit, looking back at my life
the times of depression and desperation
thoughts of suicide with my fingers on the knife
refusing any hands of alleviation

you see i was stuck at the bottom of the hill
unaware of the beauties that lie just ahead
blinded by false trust and many fake thrills
i let myself go and i bled and i bled

as i slowly saw the light that crept into my life
my skin had grown hard and my eyes now so bright
this determination is me, it cuts like a knife
kept getting back up and i had won this fight

the sun will keep rising beautiful and true
i will keep on walking and do the things i do
there is a smile on my heart that's never been more true
keeping my head high to the pretty skies so blue

i tried i tried i tried just to die die die

when i viewed the world upside down
everything was clearer
the colours fell to blend as one
everything was together
the candle so new with no errant marks
this fire was but a blur

when i stood i began to fall
upside down but still upright
all the blood rushed to my head
i closed my eyes to hold on tight
the candle still so far away
signalling me with its light

all this logic it really makes no sense
but all my sanity is backwards
i guess that means i am now insane
speaking my mind but left unheard
i landed in the fire of the candle
my own being melts away and my vision blurred

is this what my life has become
a little incitement for an endless freefall?
my eyes have witnessed all they can see
i am disgusted and i am appalled
while all the colours came together as one
it showed me the world and now i'm so small

when i viewed the world upside down
everything was clearer
the colours fell to blend as one
everything was together
now the candle has died and the light is gone
all the memories now a blur

have heart

when this is just enough for you
but not enough for me
i jumped from the highest cliff
because i knew that i would live

i dust myself off and walk away
taking slow steps to the beat of my song
i am alive and everything is wonderful
breaking apart but blissfully unaware

in my dreams my daughter kept me up all night
asking of adventures from wrinkly old photos
i told her of the day i fell off a cliff to survive
she nodded her head and i knew she was alive

i am pulling the rope with you hanging on
not letting go so the sights can engulf you
if you only had the strength that i once possessed
to reach the top and fill yourself with love

these words do not flow but i do not care
all the rivers do and that is all that matters
taking me whole along for the ride
holding my breath for the entire night through

why am i so bigger than you and why don't you know
i can save you and the burdens you hold
like the tree that has fallen to become my new boat
so cared for and loved to sail me to places unknown

through the storms that i passed with such grace and ease
because the blood on my body kept washing away
two lazy eyes straight ahead for the times that will come
never looking back because it is the past and the done

when my boat finally sank i was carried away
to the golden clouds moving slowly and so far away
i landed back home to realize my hopes were my bones
broken and battered but embracing my home

the truth it was sharp but just what i needed
two hands and two feet and two eyes and two ears
one brain and one mind and all of my heart
to whither away so happy and free

i am so young but the world i long to see
this fate is so confusing but mine at the least
the wind blows one direction but i go the other way
because the heart in my body is all i'll ever need

be my fuel

do you pray for rain
the way that i pray for you
i'd come sailing in
swoop you up in my arms

i am a small brick house
you must be a tornado
that passed me by
to stand all by myself

you were alone in my dream
screaming obscenities
bruising my open arms
why are you so cruel

would you be my rope
so i can escape from your bed
lead me down gently
with your brittle hands

when i run low on pills
could i partake in you
everything i will see
mirror through your eyes

when i was younger
i was just like them
we painted what we saw
but i painted death

when i saw your face
there was nothing to see
you spoke your first word
something i can not recall

i got to know you
what a lovely surprise
i got to know you
with my own five eyes

the shape of my hands
were made just for you
i think it'd be a perfect match
so simple harmony

when the fuel is low
we can sleep in the car
i'd stay awake watching you
visible like your breath

sometimes i get depressed
because of my ugly face
but your heart is warm
you make me smile again

as i sit in my room
the colours will melt away
but i am thinking of you
falling fast in your dress

strength

there is a cross on my chest
it hangs from my neck
that sits on my body
two feet on the ground

standing on the dirt
running through the fence
sinking under water
falling to my death

grinning through the fog
proceeding to the clouds
coming back again
and simply letting go

defiant as a youth
cursing your every name
realizing the only truth
saving my guilty soul

god is helping me take strides
in becoming a better person
baby steps, slow but straight
one breath at a time

today is a good day to rot

the days are getting brighter
my hair continues to get longer

the clouds rest over in the distance
today is a good day to rot

the cars seem to be slowing down lately
my thoughts tend to be tedious and difficult

an overindulgence in a single thought will be the death of me
and today is a good day to rot

my friends are not as real as they were at the start
but maybe i should stop making excuses

because i'm wasting my days singing songs and playing guitar
slowly losing the appeal i thought could never die

i am not hungry, i am not angry, i am not ready for you yet
my fingers will not leave the confines of my jeans

there is a crack in the sky where we always used to play
and the hole in the hull defied the crew's attempts to bail us out

i watched my skin grow pale and fade to bone
today must be a good day to rot

wallpapers of isolation

in this isolation i feel so much comfort
feeding my inner being senseless
i've long been insane, gasping with disconcert
delirious like the spiral in which i transgress

i am the master of the symphony
creating and controlling the masses as they stand
rolling the winds with righteous harmony
smooth sounds that fall apart and expand

playing loud from the corner with the yellow flower
fading portraits hanging from fading wallpaper
right at this moment from the edge of this hour
with such awestruck beauty and earnest candor

i am so alone on the inside, weeping like a lost child
going about with thoughts of fruition
but while expectations remain tired and mild
there is still no truth and certainly no recognition

the bird in the sky is art, your trailing glance is a start
with no end in sight but traces of love on my empty face
dancing with pure joy from the deepest caves of your heart
this situation is all i have, our minds they interlace

the phony little fucker and his hopeful dreams

tous ces mots, ils n'ont pas de sens

avec pas de place pour les erreurs ou prétexte

all i want is a solid night with everyone i love
but a giant void that fills my chest is all i'm thinking of
it is the entire ocean flipped upside down
no one left but me in this desolate town
making movies of my life so everyone could see
the handsome and educated man that i'd grow up to be
if only i could sleep tonight with intentions of waking up
your pretty trembling hands pouring your drink into my cup
lovely birds they sing my song for everyone to hear
before i dig this hole i've been dreaming of so i can disappear
i hold it up so only i can see the sunrise of my soul
progression of my slow demise and none of my control

two pills in the morning before two more pills at night
to keep my mother happy and to make me feel alright
watch me as i go higher up above the world so high
like a pretty little diamond in the empty sky

alright then

i am bigger than you today
and there is really nothing you can say
they love the light and i am the sun
chin held up high as i continue to run
the world is revolving at just the right pace
and in it i am beaming with absolute grace
taller than mountains, higher than the skies
finally seeing all the colours with my very own eyes

anchor

i drew you a line, it's all for you
to take the lead for the things you do
with bits and pieces of my memories
alone in your room with the silent breeze

you dropped me a line with the sharpest hook
the sight of you above was all it took
blue to red and from here to there
a simple memento with no room to spare

it's been a long time since i've felt so free
with the sun shining through and nothing left to see
i am the anchor keeping everything in place
going about my way with melancholy grace

your funeral

an especially beautiful day for
an exceptionally beautiful human being
but i feel like it wasn't your time yet
because i am not ready for this funeral

you could have been my best friend
i could have shed a few more tears
when you departed from us
when you went on your way
but you will spend my remaining years
as the humble and courageous
and mysterious figure i never really knew

you are a butterfly slowly floating away
the raindrop swept away with the flood
the tree lost in the green of the forest
the words we fumble with and can not say
you stood for everything
i wish i could be

having known you is
the pride i wear on my sleeve
from now until forevermore
from this breath until i breathe no more

get insentient

this nest of salt
is all my fault
i am so sorry
it's all my fault

poured into your cut
till it hurts no more
so nice and slow
you will hurt no more

we are lovely spirits

we are lovely spirits
just blending into the atmosphere
kissing the sky a thousand times again
raising our glasses to the high hopes of high trees
trusting the current we are floating on
maintaining balance with no worries
calm like the dinner on our plates

these times do not matter
we are curious spirits
singing hymns of sorrow and grace
wandering ever so slowly past our graves
sleeping with the breeze tied to the old red post
deciding to wear our hair down and free
we are our own constant reminders

we are ghosts, we are spirits
becoming everything we swore we would be
when the book is done and signed off
we will be ghosts like we will be spirits
staring at the mirror catching a glance of each other
hoping that the hues of our eyes will match
the beautiful mountainside just beyond the horizon

misty blue

well miss, i will not mind this walk
if i get to walk with you
past the people and the trees
into the misty blue

to the edge of the sidewalk
my heart is jumping out my chest
growing ever so fond of you
for your eyes i am possessed

the sun is up so your smile is white
the moon it shines so your smile is bright
the feeling is new but it feels just right
you just might incite this night tonight

a rousing speech oh captain

why not the brand new day and cool crisp air
from where we'd like to be, cut off like my hair
i know i am a submarine with so much left to see
the skeptical captain of this ill fated journey
complete beauty in this state of awe, relax a bit and stare
we are lost inside our own goodness and blissfully unaware
with you and him and her and them inside this deep blue sea
captured in this paradise never to be free
oh captain my captain where do we go from here
i'm afraid we are completely lost and completely unaware
oh captain dear captain where can we go from here
your eyes tell our sad little story, you lips spell out despair
why all these negative states of mind, why are you so sad
all i know is gone and everything to be had has been had
there is nothing left but your blood, your heart, your eyes, your skin
your bones, your lips, the memories of where you have been
the people you have loved, hated, felt for a certain indifference
fought for at the fragile price of your neverending expense
the countless things that i abhor will forever stick to me
but there is no one else on this godforsaken planet i would rather be
these are all my proud scars on this journey into the sea
many doors have stayed tightly shut because i am a special key
countless times have i gone down without a bruise on my pale skin
the rope i walk on now is weak and ever so painfully thin
just floating in the gigantic midst of this mess of uncertainty
all this hope and full of love but nothing i could guarantee
but please have some faith in a person as low and unsure as me
the end is far and an uncertain gamble but i swear i will set you free
i will love you all the same my friend, without question without plea
i will hold you all the way my love, my companion under the sea

dear my dear

days go by with thoughts that change
feelings manipulated but still so sincere
this wrecking ball against my heart

a hundred dollars to pass the time
with my selfish, hidden, burning greed
but i am guilty all the same

rainy hair for rainy days
a radiant smile to dry my hands
many nights so rest assured

a joint for me, a joint for you
this was high school's glory days
yes, slowly baking in the sun

my future wife will sleep tonight
she likes to toy with and hide from me
but i will love her just the same

jesus christ he came to me
complaining he was tired of proper posture
wanting nothing but real genuine faith

blues birds they will chirp and sing
not to brighten up our vainglory days
but for their longing of something pure

my friends tell me they all care
they're all liars, they love themselves

but i am fine
that is really fine

because i'm really just like them
i think just like them
their faces are just mirrors

for the likes of me
for the likes of you
and the likes of you
and you
and you
and you
and the likes of you

because i'm really just like them

pulling rope

i tried to unwind
but i am in a bind
another round of breathing
just to pass the time

what we used to do
never had a clue
constant lapse in judgment
skipping broken tracks

here just pulling rope
efforts full of hope
this need for satisfaction
never ever sleep

honest revelation

i am sick of this obvious truth
so entrancing and hauntingly acute
too bright for my eyes and too far away
it takes my sleep and happiness, so i will say
"i know what is right, and you are wrong
but you know me too well, i am not strong
matching my breath and the way that i think
you have me by my hair and now on the brink
i see all of the cracks all too very well
please don't let go, i swear i won't tell."

the winds they taunted me, knowing my predicament
and the truth spoke so slow, i knew what it meant
"along with the drop, with its echoes so long
i know it in words, i know it in song
like the gold and the love and the knowing you desire
i've been waiting so long, and i am now so tired
you are a girl, you are depressed with a lie
the years make you weak, so why do you try
outside the skies are now gray, the rain it is falling
i think you know what this means, you know what is calling
or are you an old man left with nothing you know
waiting for memories and living with woe
a once proud demeanor now the source of your embarrassment
your gold is exhausted, your life it is spent."

the grip loosens now, the end it is near
but with nothing left to hide, i make sure it can hear
"yes, i am weak and at times unaware
but i am sincere, i do nothing but care
you say what i already know, i know who you are
you are the girl at night, sitting in my car
the shoulder for my shame and neverending tears
the hands i can take to hide from my fears
you are my best friend and i will never let you go
holding on tight when i'm at my lowest low
you are the boy staring so curiously at me
holding out your hands so everything i can see
you are everything i am not, which makes you all i need
so to you i call out, so i've planted my seed
you can let me go, but you won't allow me to fall
i know what you know, i saw what you saw
with all my colours and all my doubts and all of my love
everything deep inside and way above
these words that i muster, the movements i will make
the most fucking honest revelation, and nothing for your sake."

ancient cassette

no matter how many times these words crawled down our throats
they always came back as the purest of notes
even though you hated the awful music i sang
these letters combined and from them you would hang
so true like the broken glass caught in midair
straight into our skin but still we would stare
no matter the feeling that dug deep in our hearts
there is a happiness we know with no end and no start
in my dirty hands so eager to please
scarce opportunities we'd eagerly seize
i could tell by our smiles that in this very moment
when they told us of love, this is what they meant
our lives could be the picture we'd never forget
played back over and over in this ancient cassette

oh, meet me where i could never be

good evening to the birds bringing music to my ear
alone with the sunset waiting for my shadows to appear
freezing but eager for the smoke from my breath
to accompany me from this point til my very death
such a relaxing realization brings a smile to my face
content lying all to myself, not willing to retrace
i can tell that my hands will eventually melt away
free to tiptoe away, to enjoy this beautiful day
the rain will pour down straight into my eyes
clearing my blurred vision, to help my realize
the true colours just beyond the horizon
past this point, where this thought had begun
i will transcend from this heavy frame of mind
to allow these aesthetic aspirations to intertwine

so real

i leaned in real close to see what was real
nothing left to hide, none to conceal
i thought i'd seen all of my efforts combined
left in the sun alone to unwind
with pages of words i wish i had said
ringing the alarm, ringing in my head
disorientation calming my constant shivers
floating whichever way this soft wind prefers
i'll follow this paradigm of distinct notions
so fearless in retrospect, so fluid in motions
but consumed by greed is this everyday consumer
folding his arms while the demons consume her
painting a portrait of the greatest achievement
the harder he thinks, the more he'll repent
casting dark shadows to coincide with the light
he is so thoughtful, he makes everything right
multiple meanings to this vague interpretation
but the same empty feeling with every translation
go higher, young dreamer with all your beliefs
up to where the sinners and peter will meet

anything for you, my queen oh so blue

there is normal where these clocks are
spinning backwards when it's real bizarre
clutching at my roots to stay in place
stopping all breathing so i can retrace

back to the times when i jumped so far
many miles gone chasing the shiniest star
cuts and bruises consoled by smiles so wide
arms so sore because we tried and we tried

when i cried out, you caught all my tears
held me so close, fighting my many fears
dragged me from the dark into a misty light
said i would be alright, you were always right

entrancing moments are all i desire
deep in the soil but i can still go higher
moving along towards the promises i'll keep
spilling the world so the riches i can reap

it was all a dream i mapped out in my head
beautiful things brand new in my empty mouth unsaid
projected in my weary eyes, my very hopeful eyes
letting all the colours sink in and materialize

there are places where i long to be
lights to catch and sights to see
from city limits to the richest greens
mental images of the happiest scenes

ghosts to meet, acquaintances to seek
words to be understood, words we will speak
moving backwards but not finding anything bizarre
shouting with sincerity, wherever you are

jumping fires in my past life while juggling two bowls of lions

ever crystal like that look you've been brought
his teeth and his head for the links of your arm
everything i have witnessed to the thought i've been taught
things like that, like the look in your eyes help me stay calm
waves that crash all around us, keep us at great fear
so delicate and attractive that it keeps us all near
heavy crowns upon your head along with its display!
shades of rain upon your name in the middle of may
counts of how many times your heart has beat in the last minute
all the things i wish i could do for you but just couldn't
my strength is not great but i love the hell out of it
nothing i have to cry over, i am strong and i'll kill it
my brain is heavy and my limbs feel pretty funny
my attention is alert and i jump like a bunny
my thoughts are mixed and jumbled up, but i like the feeling
something in my guts again and i don't feel like dying
echoes through the walls so green and full of spirit
nothing in this stupid world i can put upon it
i wish i could say hello now and not in two days
different ways that i could do it, beneficial ways
five counts of your judgment i can bury deep inside
different things in same old days they can collide
the sooner the better says the wise old wizard
or face my evil thunder and towering blizzard
so be brave, be bold, be whatever you could want to be
the many frogs all around could be my eyes so i can see
see you in the corner of my mind and corner i waited
because i need healing, yes i am oh so tainted
to get back to the originality of the first line
i must be chugging on along waiting for the sign
to carry my green heart back to the motherland
with roses i'll be planting and my feet right in the sand
counting the days till we can count the stars instead
to put our hearts together so we can see that it is red
it is beautiful to me, it is so wonderful to me
to see the lines along our sides all match to be free
holding on way too tight for the feeling of it to last
don't be slow, not very slow, just wanted to be fast
finding balance when the balance is just not very clear
pick the pieces to patch up, to hold it again very dear
i am thirsty for the knowledge to pour and pour and pour
drink so i can die again, i will die more more more
i am smiling, see my teeth! so straight and tangible white
there is not a feeling of regret or shame, no such contrite
so cool and calm with a feeling of grace
then we can be ready to begin the chase
follow me to the finish line, where our dreams are vast
we will set sail to the other side so let us blast
we are walking slowly enjoying our company
so serene and sincere so leave us and let us be
plainly moving along with really needed harmony
coming to the other side with lit candles not blasphemy
there is no challenge to the evil men in front of me
nothing to keep clear, nothing balanced easily
stop the giant pillows inside my furry chest
smooth waters to the rescue oh just the very best
simplify the times so they can all just match
the first set of kiwis, the incredible first batch
to the oceans we walk, with our toes in the sand
collecting precious seashells and in the sun we stand
being carried away in the ear of an eagle
going with all of our most favourite people
we will never stop again, and our happiness has no death
nothing left to wonder, and never to forget
springtime, we will go to soak up all we want to know
memories down to our belly just like long ago
where we were pure and hugged every single day
i was very speechless, there was nothing i could say
music mixtapes, and absolutely nothing in between
nothing to be touched or heard, nothing to be seen
oh leave my teeth in the shackles of your arm
connected to your little face, so pretty and no harm
with long skinny hair so relaxing
my healthy long legs i am contacting
run, run to the finish line with feet of fire
so much faith and so much desire
into the bed and under the sheets and so cozy
i trust them so much, but you most only
singing myself to sleep again, but never lonely
embracing all the identities i never could be
nothing. to see. nothing. again
just nails in my coffin. where it will begin

don't ever tell anybody anything. if you do, you start missing everybody

i'm hiding behind the tall yellow trees
warming my hands and trying to hold back a sneeze
then a family of giraffes accept me as their own
traveling the distance and making it all well known
the sun is all the gold we will ever need
thousands of stars beckon us to pause before we proceed
holding my hands out to receive all i had ever ignored
i have a thirst for more, but ever content is the horde
now i'm lying there, head under water by the bayside
just waiting for the sunset and the rising tide
making friends with purple fish and a beautiful mermaid
stretching her arms making a bed under the shade
let myself fall in, embracing the blue as my own
deeper and deeper into the depths of the unknown
meeting a giant whale and letting him swallow me whole
now i have the direction because i have all the control
shoot me out directly into the high, open sky
right past the clouds and migrating birds i will fly
bright lights, no feelings, black sky is all i see
limp goes my body, nothing for my mind to foresee
one last breath before my uninvited free fall arrives
so i fall and fall and fall and fall and fall and die
out spills my blood and memories and little secrets
the moments i buried deep down with all my regrets
my body decomposes right there and now i am a tree
a pretty girl hides behind me to sneeze and i am happy

S.A.D.F.M.E.H

stop. drop.. dark spots under my eyes
step by step to my inevitable demise
face down on my couch and so peaceful
this empty air that gently lulls
me to blind and tantalizing sleep.

it led me to the image of the corner bench
with a weeping woman and her dead child
such sorrow a gentle reassurance could not quench
not with her dead soul, her dead child
so pretty but no hope in her overweight eyes
too damaged to save her from utter demise

far away is the person i love the most
who i love to hold but is never close
our eyes will meet from what seems an ocean's length
the love is great but not worth an ocean's length

i know what is beautiful, but do i deserve it
frail in the mind, which eventually leads to the heart
convinced my faith is strong, but i am full of shit
i am not as strong as i was at the start
let me reach under the blacks of the depths
force in what i can see and whatever i can get
it makes me happy to be bobbing my entranced head
shaking my legs before that very first date
too anxious to commit to the very words being said
scared for the eventual and dreaded feeling of hate

it's all in my head but it's too late for me now
so i let myself sleep because it's all i have for now
to dream of beautiful things i am unaware of right now
my hopes are high so i hold my chin up to the skies
there is no such device, no demise, no disguise
won rof

you're a butterfly i'm a dandelion

these were dreams so full of angst
no recollections of the cool spring air
just thick locks of your jet-black hair
so smooth and straight

you tied it effortlessly against my neck
slowly crawling, encompassing my face
so willing and so full of hope
no room for shame

don't pinch my cheeks, don't let me fall
fire in our eyes and that is all
my heart.. it rest against your chest
to find it's way into your grasp

we were strangers agreeing to this
waiting for the count to reach the skies
to dig into the ground below our feet
into our own world

you set your sights for the greener end
dreams so nice, oh just like heaven
cut off your hair too tangled to unwind
i am stupid and blind