thisisit

i flipped through the pages
and found some parts i liked
i went for a quiet walk
and found a route just for me
i was strumming my guitar
and agreed with a few chords
i looked out the window
and the night sky was so lovely
i looked into the future
and found myself so at peace
i look into my mind now
and find an emptiness i can't ignore
so i will swallow my fears
wipe the sweat off my forehead
dig deep into palms of my hands
jump as far as i can
land on the other side
examine my surroundings
and finally find myself a home
where i can just be myself
let out what i have been holding in
and die with a smile in my head

you are the sunset, i paint myself out

you were once a plain white canvas
i was hesitant to make a mark
did you remind me of a beautiful sunset
or the lonely moon surrounded by dark

i spent countless hours with you alone
painstakingly sketching out every detail
vibrant colors brought out your eyes
and the tone of your skin so innocent and pale

when i was at my low with no end in sight
you did not change and stayed the same in my eyes
the things i abhor, the list that i write
to your faded eyes, those were just lies

so i sketched out a rough sunset over the sea
it was the most honest scene i could ever create
you could be floating with the waves, hiding in the dark
dreaming with the sun, where you would radiate

the true meaning laid down beneath what i like to pretend

i just keep rolling out potentials
in hopes of finding a meaning
but every single one of them find somewhere else to go
there are times when i remember
along with moments i can't see
but i make a mark on the walls so i will not forget
my friends keep me floating
but i'm afraid they don't understand
that i will leave them at sunrise, never to come back
i will shed my skin and lose my voice
turn black and white as i relapse
but you are smiling so wide
and i am just glad that you're happy
i have a roll of film in my pocket
filled with memories i'd like to create
take you into the darkroom
and watch our dreams fill with color
so go to sleep and live your life
you will find someone to truly make you smile
to take you on all kinds of adventures
write lovelier poems than what i can muster up
because you truly deserve that
and i am right most of the time