001

oh my god.
i don't belong here,
the pieces do not fit
the stars do not align.
i am not content
nor will i ever be content,
until the songs i sing
come straight from the heart
processed from the brain
seen with the eyes.
i will go where
my feet is willing
my arms are stretching.
until then i will think
in moderation
but not say,
it will all come
soon enough.

wake up

my eyes are young
but they are weary
they carry the weight
of all i've ever hated
i swore i would be pure
to have an open mind
but it's like torture here
to be a nobody
i love the sun, the cloud, and moon
i'd love you too, but you're worlds away
not in sight, but in mind
i have opened my mind too wide
and you are on the other side
my skin is pale, my hair is dull
like my heart, which does not belong
there is only one world for me
and that is not enough
i need to leave, to see what's in store
find that life that will leave me craving
craving for more
not wanting to forget
like fucking southern california
where this abomination resides
here counting down the time
just to start over again
i need to find my true colors
see the change in my eyes
to write down honest words
take this wholehearted walk
to the other side
where my soul belongs
i will be all you've ever wanted
not full of shit, but full of love
love spelled on your wrists
lying by the edge of the river
as the tips of the water
edge closer, and closer
take me with you
swallow me whole
i will flow free and fast
to the ocean
take me to the ocean
to the ends of the world
i want to see snow
the beautiful green fields
no lies, no blasphemy
the ability to find myself
wandering alone
alone with determination
with love, with a destination
i will find you one day
arms open wide
mind ready to take you in
throw me the rope
pull in these terrible things
that make up all i've ever lived for
rip it apart, throw it in the air
and make me new
start anew
on the other side of the sun
the place foreign to my eyes
and i swear i will be pure

i ruined it

i wrote it down in ink
but your tears washed it away
there are words trapped in my mouth
honest things i'll never say

i wish you could read my mind
so i didn't have to try so hard
i wish you weren't so stupid and blind
it's a fault i can't deny

you see, i am a captain at sea
giving my life so i can be
that person who will always see
everything i ever wanted to be

but my ship is old and it has sunk
and with it all i've ever loved
so i am alone to start from scratch
... left alone to start from scratch

this time i'll carve it down in stone
leave behind a trail all the way home
hold on for dear life when my time has come
as the words will come spilling out my mouth

lost in your well being

please tell me if the pain is too unbearable
i can calm the waves and smooth out the folds
if you lose your mind and blow out my brains
i will gladly assist in cleaning the evidence
because that is what friends do
and i think i am your friend
i hope i am

speechless

she had finally spun the world one too many times
sorted the quarters from the pennies, nickels from the dimes
she had painted the ocean a beautiful three coats of blue
moved onto the fields at dawn to coat the grass with dew

the look in her eyes had given me the ability to write
with her smile so pale white and her lazy eyes so bright
jot down my every thought as she did whatever she wanted
with the even steps she took and her composure so daunted

how she loved the music i played and how frailly i sang
she listened to my voice and from each word she would hang
as my fingers pressed onto the strings to create every sound
filled with slip-ups and mistakes you still found so profound

.........

wooden floor

i slid my feet along the wooden floor
arms stretched out, yearning for something more
the lights are brighter on the other side
i can overcome, i can climb the tide
there is no hesitation and no second thought
i am single-minded, i am not distraught
eighteen years of nothing had left me with no plans
an empty cellar in my head and nothing on my hands
i let everyone slide from my grip, a terrible regret
my eyes they will remember and i will not forget
because even when i hated you, i've never loved you more
banging on that wooden door that left my fists so sore
clawing my way to the other side and letting you pull me back
until you got tired and ran away, never to come back
so i sit here today in this dream i've had
the rain pours from all directions, but still i'm glad
my head is full of thought that had been locked away
it sweeps me up like a wave and tells me i'll be okay
i will eventually drown, but i will fight
my lungs will explode but i won't die tonight
i will get to the other side before i fall asleep
my body will wither away but your heart i will keep

eternally beautiful in barcelona

oh.. the world turns off at random times
and i am left here with empty hands
i believe my mind is vast and seeking truth
but here i stand without any plans

i need you now more than ever
whoever you are
or whatever you are

are you green with massive wings
your hair falling down like little strings
sleep in the basement and feast with kings
eyes completely shut when the radio sings

i need you like how he needed her
i want you as much as she wanted him
there is nothing more i'd rather prefer
thought for thought and limb for limb

it rained so much the other day
while the sun shined on the other side
you cried so much the other day
while they were happy behind your back

thought for thought and limb for limb
like that spark of light when times are grim
floating through space so far away
come float with me and you will stay
forever within my eyesight
everyday and every night
close enough for me to touch
never too little, never too much
not too far so you can hear
my voice and find it so sincere
never satisfied, always wanting more
opening new doors so we can explore

through the black holes
the never ending galaxies
away from this world
where time can never stop

save us

there is nothing i can do wrong
i have it all locked up in the cellar
all locked up in the dark


all smiles for you & i in this world made by the ones with no face
we are not doers but we are tellers
and we have made our mark


once in a while i will venture into the unknown


fishing for abnormalities, time consuming tasks for which i will embark


there is nothing to be done, absolutely nothing to be done
but we will follow the fake-lit rainbow to your corporate buildings
do your every bidding because our arms are connected with your strings





PLEASE! wake up from this horrible nightmare
there is a seat for you away from all despair


sing & write & die with our arms dangling to our sides
instead of the depressed induced ropes hanging from our necks
with our hollow and empty insides

السماء التي مرسلة

where will you be the next time i am truly happy?
standing with me like today or in the corner sappy
flip a coin because the odds would be much greater
oh, but we are so content now & that can come later
that sparkle beyond the bars beckons us forth
carve past this monstrosity; head straight north!
pick these flowers before our day comes to an end
you are so special to me, you are my best friend
we are living in hell with satan waiting at every turn
he places you in the spotlight & there he lets you burn
break the walls for me, let me out into the light
but this moon is far too bright and lovely to be our night
usher me past the money tree soaking in our happiness
away from those who want what they already possess
if i wake up next morning with the sun at my front door
i will gladly let her take me to some place new to explore
anywhere is better than here
nowhere can be as bad as here
anywhere is better than here
no one can convince me to stay here

they call stable, but you know it's wrong

hey, hey, hey, what's with the devilish look in your eyes
devising your perfect master plan that will lead to my final demise?
that sheepish grin that make the goosebumps jump off my arm
it sends a jolt from my brain down my spine, ring the alarm

you won't know when i grab this knife and hide it behind my back
preparing for the perfect moment to sink it into your back
it wasn't intentional! the hallucinogens have made me insane
there was nothing to gain back when i was sane, so send it down the drain

watch it swirl around and around, slowly melting away along with the rest
have it filtered back to your kitchen sink and settle in your system to digest
i can be a part of you forever like a beautifully done tattoo under your skin
hey, hey, hey, i have stolen your devilish eyes and that stupid, sheepish grin

your head is sprouting vines that proceed to wrap around my fragile body
swallow me whole and the darkness i will accept, your mind i will embody
scream as the echo reflects off the walls of this chamber where your heart once was
sleep for my own greedy pleasure, this once affirmative action now has no cause

ificouldidleaveyouallbehindtoventureawayforever

wading through the misty swamp with hands marked with blood
taking steps become so difficult as feet slowly sink in the mud
there is a light calling out at the end but grows dimmer by the minute
my demons grabbing at my arms but emotions i refuse to emit
there is only one way through this mess and i must do it alone
i need to leave you behind to venture off into the unknown

pleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleaseplease fuck off, please
there are images in my mind and you're not in them
i need to do this alone, from the tip to the stem

you were meant for so much more than me

it did not take too long for me to see
this world was not made for you and me
we stopped and talked nonstop from sunset to sunrise
refused to go down with shaking hands and bloodshot eyes
swore never to disappear, got lost in the lust we knew was real
but we knew we were dying, slowly losing what we used to feel
i refused to let go and plastered over the wounds over and over
the finish line was just around the corner, getting closer and closer
you cut the knot that forced us together while i slowly fell back
my mind went blank and my eyes slowly shut to visions of black
it did not take long for me to realize
your heart belonged somewhere else

simplifed words for a poorly drawn out diagram of misunderstood eclectic neuropsychology

this narrow path is getting wider by the minute and the sky is rising
this beautiful guitar i will play and the thoughtful lyrics i will sing

mountains of loneliness are getting lost behind this heavy haze
seas of relaxation sweep in and send in thoughts of better days

my mind is a train wreck full of non sinners and there are no survivors!
i have been taking little baby steps and my motions are nothing but a blur
my heart has been cruelly wrenched out and stomped on the floor
you have grabbed me by the neck and thrown me out behind a slammed door

but i sit here now in some weird, psychotic, malicious state of nature
my mind is slowly melting away and i'm afraid there is no cure
sitting in point blank range, in the middle of a maze, no escapes
your language is gibberish to me and your writing is nothing but shapes

this narrow path has slowly expanded into a never ending plain full of nothing
this old, out of tune guitar i will play and the scrambled lyrics i will sing

if you told me your dreams

if you told me your dreams
i'd paint on a blank canvas, vivid colors over simple hues of white
make the daytime extra bright, with shades of black for the night
a hilltop standing out in the green, with a patch of shade just for us
pale shades of orange for the sunset, gray for the silent dusk

if you told me how ugly it was
i'd splatter over my honest mistake with a deep color of red
write down beautiful thoughts of you onto this new canvas instead
spill my feelings all over the empty space until it was a color of its own
let it lift you up and take you away to places you have never known

if you told me how shallow i looked
i'd break this overdone canvas into a million little bits
proceed to jump into your mind to find out what makes you click
paint a masterpiece on your brain and write a poem on your heart
you'd appreciate what i'm trying to do and we'd finally have a start

trapedot revenerows

there was a boy who said he'd get away from all that weighed him down
his eyes could stretch so far, the world was much more than this town
said there were places he must go and sights that he must see
stand on the opposite side of the world so he could finally be free

his mind was full of wonders and he was yearning to be gone
sleep under the golden sun so he could brave the seas at dawn
gaze at the clouds as they slowly pass and count the stars at night
all his bones would be delighted as the light in his soul ignites

he will find a girl sitting on the stars and singing his favorite song
the kind that catches your attention and makes you sing along
brought her down so he could feel more real than he'd ever felt before
with her he'd freeze in the coldest weather and not care anymore

there was once a boy who boldly said he would run away from it all
said a beautiful sunset was his sign and a light breeze was his call
he broke his bones and cleaned his mind and felt it in his heart
embraced the world that he made his and swore never to depart

my voice, dreams, and this god damn seam

do i clutch at every corner and twist the image till it blurs
trying to mend the broken legs just to make it even worse
attempting a short, simple sentence but my voice always slurs

droplets of water fall onto the window and i slowly drift to sleep
dreaming of giant waves that crash onto all four sides of my ship
send me off instead to a never ending field with air too clean to grip
let me lay alone in the middle of a wide ocean, but never too deep

these seams i have slowly undone are too loose with the end surely near
so the seams lay in pieces as i await once more for you to appear
i sit here in the shade with a sincere apology but you have disappeared

my actions have no simple logic but my eyes have yet to close
the darkness does not keep me away and i will go where the wind blows
making my way on my broken ship and wading through the fields
i will cast my hands into what i can not comprehend to see what it yields

today is a nice day to die

yeah, we were just swaying along to the flow of the breeze
it was safe to say we were living with the sun and sleeping with the moon
when the rain came, it poured and flooded up past our knees
so we made ourselves a raft to float and roll with the monsoon

yeah, we were just swaying along to the current of the waves
staring up at the clouds everyday because it was never the same
when the fire came, we stared in awe as it clawed at our knees
and we proceeded to lay by the warmth as the flames inched closer
the fire licked at our bare skin but we were too at ease
the fire swallowed us whole but the night had us at peace
we died that dawn with the sun inching up from the east
and the moon slowly fading away until it had completely disappeared

chiaroscuro

my weary body lay well rested on the cold cement floor
this empty head lacks the substance for existence
complemented with the cold air and nothing more
my foolish persistence created just enough subsistence

my weary body has no desire to stand out in the darkness
leave me to rule over this dark atrocity and feel infinite
a perfect place to curl up with a free mind ready to digress
to stare at the pale streetlights as long as my eyes would persist

the moonlight, the moonlight, it reflects off my brown eyes
soft rain, this soft rain, it rolls off my mussed up hair
my mouth, my quivering mouth, it can not tell a single lie
as this weary body falls into place with this perfect night

fuck this desperation

desperation threw me off the highest cliff and down i plummeted
staring up at the shrinking clouds and the last sight of blue
the impact blew my mind and the blue turned into red, red, red
out flew desperation as my body dangled free, slightly askew

desperation got up to his feet and dusted himself off
disappeared without a single trace, another job well done
breathes came out of my mouth at a heavy, rapid pace
closing my eyes with an ugly smile forming on my blood-stained face

the rain proceeded to pour down and it removed everything red
green grass grew over me with flowers replacing my eyes
vines of the largest length grew in and out of my open head
the earth ate me whole that day, the day i killed dreaded desperation

translate this in arabic

i am on an adventure inside my hollow head
full of endless echoes and as thick as lead
it lets in bad thoughts and i make them go away
but i love thoughts of you so you always stay
tying up my feelings like a never ending seam
floating in my mind like a cascade stream
with you, with you, with you

float on

i am a weary lost soul trying to survive with the wild waves
holding on tight throughout the night just to face the day
the shrieking wind and constant rain will follow me to my grave
no matter how long i hold my breath or the direction i sway

i will always stare off to the sunset but find no hint of green
and all i ever see is the blue that barely keeps me afloat
fighting to survive each day has become vaguely obscene
but until the day i dive into the waters below, i will float

float for no particular purpose but for the lovely hints of sunlight
for the dull glow of the moon and stars at the first sign of night
i will float on

i think your name is magical

there will be no notion of devotion, commotion, or terrible emotion
our lives do not matter to any soul on the other side of the ocean
you and i can die next morning and they will not break a sweat
we are nothing but two nobodies on this god forsaken planet

we may suddenly disappear but the time will continue to change
it is nothing anyone will find fear in or come across as completely strange
the waves will continue to rise and fall, clouds will come and go
the sun will always shine real bright, the moon will not cease to glow

but i stand here today as your nobody, the soul on this side of the ocean
there will be plenty of devotion, commotion, and beautiful emotion
you are the reason i continue struggling to breathe on this god forsaken planet
you make time stop time after time, someone i couldn't possibly forget