i tried i tried i tried just to die die die

when i viewed the world upside down
everything was clearer
the colours fell to blend as one
everything was together
the candle so new with no errant marks
this fire was but a blur

when i stood i began to fall
upside down but still upright
all the blood rushed to my head
i closed my eyes to hold on tight
the candle still so far away
signalling me with its light

all this logic it really makes no sense
but all my sanity is backwards
i guess that means i am now insane
speaking my mind but left unheard
i landed in the fire of the candle
my own being melts away and my vision blurred

is this what my life has become
a little incitement for an endless freefall?
my eyes have witnessed all they can see
i am disgusted and i am appalled
while all the colours came together as one
it showed me the world and now i'm so small

when i viewed the world upside down
everything was clearer
the colours fell to blend as one
everything was together
now the candle has died and the light is gone
all the memories now a blur

have heart

when this is just enough for you
but not enough for me
i jumped from the highest cliff
because i knew that i would live

i dust myself off and walk away
taking slow steps to the beat of my song
i am alive and everything is wonderful
breaking apart but blissfully unaware

in my dreams my daughter kept me up all night
asking of adventures from wrinkly old photos
i told her of the day i fell off a cliff to survive
she nodded her head and i knew she was alive

i am pulling the rope with you hanging on
not letting go so the sights can engulf you
if you only had the strength that i once possessed
to reach the top and fill yourself with love

these words do not flow but i do not care
all the rivers do and that is all that matters
taking me whole along for the ride
holding my breath for the entire night through

why am i so bigger than you and why don't you know
i can save you and the burdens you hold
like the tree that has fallen to become my new boat
so cared for and loved to sail me to places unknown

through the storms that i passed with such grace and ease
because the blood on my body kept washing away
two lazy eyes straight ahead for the times that will come
never looking back because it is the past and the done

when my boat finally sank i was carried away
to the golden clouds moving slowly and so far away
i landed back home to realize my hopes were my bones
broken and battered but embracing my home

the truth it was sharp but just what i needed
two hands and two feet and two eyes and two ears
one brain and one mind and all of my heart
to whither away so happy and free

i am so young but the world i long to see
this fate is so confusing but mine at the least
the wind blows one direction but i go the other way
because the heart in my body is all i'll ever need

be my fuel

do you pray for rain
the way that i pray for you
i'd come sailing in
swoop you up in my arms

i am a small brick house
you must be a tornado
that passed me by
to stand all by myself

you were alone in my dream
screaming obscenities
bruising my open arms
why are you so cruel

would you be my rope
so i can escape from your bed
lead me down gently
with your brittle hands

when i run low on pills
could i partake in you
everything i will see
mirror through your eyes

when i was younger
i was just like them
we painted what we saw
but i painted death

when i saw your face
there was nothing to see
you spoke your first word
something i can not recall

i got to know you
what a lovely surprise
i got to know you
with my own five eyes

the shape of my hands
were made just for you
i think it'd be a perfect match
so simple harmony

when the fuel is low
we can sleep in the car
i'd stay awake watching you
visible like your breath

sometimes i get depressed
because of my ugly face
but your heart is warm
you make me smile again

as i sit in my room
the colours will melt away
but i am thinking of you
falling fast in your dress